Wuya quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

Jack Spicer, behold… Mala Mala Jong! Mala Mala Jong is an ancient demon warrior. Powerful… Deadly… And invincible.

How like Dashi to give you the tool but not the knowledge of how to use it. He always was a fool. A smart dresser, but a fool.

What happens in Pandatown, stays in Pandatown.

Whoever possesses the Monsoon Sandals will have legs that can stretch for miles!

Jack

I want to rule the whole world! All of it! Not some of it. Not just Iceland or Fiji. I wanna rule the whole world!

Pardon me, sir.

Jack

What? Can’t you see I’m on an evil rant here?

Yes, sir, but your father sent you a gift from Hong Kong.

Jack

Oh, a puzzle box. Oh, let’s see. And my prize is...[Opens up the puzzle box revealing to be a mask] a mask? Lame. [Throws the box away] All right, back to world conquest. My favorite pastime. Now, let’s see. Europe might not be a bad place to start. Or is that too obvious? Could go in for the unexpected, like Paraguay. But is that enough of an attention grabber? Could go down through Africa, over to South America and...

Onward to Asia.

Jack

[screamed in shock] Spooky ghost lady! Attack!

Plans for world conquest? My dear boy, we have much in common. What’s your name?

Jack

Jack Spicer. Who are you? What are you?

Me? I’m your new best friend.

Raimundo

It’s a what now?

A Xiaolin Showdown. It’s what happens when two warriors reach a stalemate over a Shen Gong Wu. Two words: Freak-y.

Omi

Jack Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! I wager my Two-Ton Tunic against your Mantis Flip Coin. Whoever reaches the last stone first wins the Eye of Dashi. And the other Shen Gong Wu as well.

Accept the challenge. Accept it!

Jack

I accept your challenge, Omi.

Omi

Let’s go! Xiaolin Showdown!

Omi

The battle is over, Spicer! You lost.

Jack

Whatever shall we do?

Perhaps they should meet our new friend, Le Mime.

Kimiko

[chuckles] You brought a mime?

Raimundo

What are you gonna do, annoy us to death?

Kimiko

[believing the box is imaginary] Look at him, he's pretending to put us inside a box. [laughs] So lame. [sarcastically] Oh, no! We are trapped! We can not get out!

Omi

Very silly. I- [hits his head on an invisible solid wall] Hey.

Raimundo

[hits his head as well] Oh! There is a wall here.

Kimiko

Uh, guys? We really are trapped!

Jack

You kids have fun. We're off to get the Fist of Tebigong.

Jack Spicer

Stay out of this Ashley.

My evil name's Katnappe, doofus.

Jack Spicer

Who you calling' doofus, Kitty Litter?

Who you calling' Kitty Litter, Robo-freak?

Enough! Cease your bickering.

Jack

Uh-huh, hmm. So, Mr. Tubbimura, tell us about yourself. Why should Jack Spicer, evil incorporated, hire you?

[Bowing] Hai. Well, er, I have, as you can see, extensive experience wreaking havoc and destruction.

Jack

Yeah not really looking for H and D.

Er, I also have solid grasp of mayhem.

Mayhem is good.

Jack

There's always a need for mayhem.

You have done well, Jack Spicer.

Jack

Evil Genius well?

Don't ruin the moment.

Jack

Sorry.

Jack

Any idea where we're going?

No, but I could always glide through the walls and peek ahead.

Jack

[nervously unsure] Uh… N-not a good idea.

Why? You're not afraid of the dark, are you?

Jack

Me? Jack Spicer, evil boy genius, afraid of the dark? Don't be ridiculous.

Clay, I reckon you've been a man longer than I realized.

Jack

[To Wuya] How come we don't have a relationship like that?

I'm not your mommy! Now pick up your toys Jackie, and let's go home.

Jack Spicer

Technically, you don't sweat either but you still manage to put off some serious B.O., sister.

I'm surprised you can smell anything considering how often you have you little fingers up your nostrils!

Oh! Three Shen Gong Wu! No, wait!

[blubbering] This is ridiculous! It's not three, [stammering] but…

Four! Four Shen Gong Wu activating at the same time!

Omi

Sun Chi Lantern! [absorbs his friends' chi energies]

Stop him! He's merging his chi energy with the others!

FIRE!

EARTH!

WIND!