Max Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Justin

Who wrote down one syllable?

Max

I did!

Jerry

You were supposed to write titles.

Justin

That is infuriating isn't it, dad? Doesn't it make you just want to... throw a table.

Jerry

I'm sure there's a book titled "One Syllable" out there somewhere.

Jerry

No Alex, you stay, you're not disqualified. I got that fair and square. [stands up] YOUR MOTHER IS STACKING THE TEAMS AGAINST US!!

Justin

That's what I'm talking about!

Theresa

What? You heard her! She cheated.

Justin

And I'm livid. You know what? They should both be disqualified out of here.

Jerry

Oh, this is totally bogus!

Max

Dad's pouting 'cause he lost a fight again,

Theresa

No! We are not fighting, that's one thing we are not doing; we're not fighting. So stop fighting! The neighbors can hear us!

That's it! I'm calling the cops.

Jerry

(moves his arms like he's karate chopping)

Max

Karate Kid!

Jerry

We are not fighting! We're trying to make a good impression!

Zeke

Can you guys believe it! Aliens have landed on Waverly Place!

Max

Yeah well who's gonna tell them they can't park there? They're gonna get towed...

Max

(inside a giant Jack-o-Lantern) You're probably jealous because I moved out of the house before you did. Tell Mommy and Daddy I said "Hi", loser!

Justin

Okay. I'll tell them. (turns to the house) Hey Mom, Dad; the kid living in the Jack-o-Lantern thinks I'm the loser!

Max

It feels good to be appreciated.

Alex

Yeah, don't get use to it.

Alex

So that's where the fliers went.

Max

Yes! Zombies are coming man! Don't worry, I already locked the doors. Nobody can get in, and we can't get out.

(mad at Max for being an idiot) Did you at least find the No Fear Ring? I could really use it right now.

Alex

Harper has it. That's why she's standing up to the zombies.

Justin

[Referring to their aunt] Well we're gonna have to find a way to get her back here so she can retake the test!

Jerry

Well, the problem is nobody knows where she is!

Justin

Well we're gonna have to find her then!

Max

[Stands up] I have a magnifying glass, will that help?

Justin

[Looks to his dad than back] She's not tiny!

Max

You said she was an ant!

(about Kelbo) Yep, you're just like him.

Max

Thank you!

That wasn't a compliment.

Max

Thank you!

It was an insult.

Max

Thank you!

Max

Frankenstein Vs. Snakes 3D is the best monsters versus snakes movie ever!

Alex

I think it's the best movie ever because we stole out of Justin's room.

Alex

I can't believe you would do something this stupid.

Max

Alex, I think we all believe I can do something this stupid.

Jerry

Okay, are you ready for your word, Max-

Max

[interrupts] Max! M-A-C-K-S. Max.

Jerry

Th-that isn't your word that's your name...and you misspelled it!

Max

[shakes head] I should've asked for a definition.

Jerry

Your word is.....hippopotomonstrosesquip­pedalio­phobia.

Could you use it in a sentence?

Jerry

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedali­o­phobia is an annoying word, and I'm not gonna say it again.

Jerry

THAT'S the sentence.

Alex

Mason, you haven't stopped staring at Juliet since we found her.

Mason

Juliet, I didn't know we were looking for you. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU!

Alex

(gasps) Oh my gosh! What are you doing?!

Mason

I don't know!

Alex

Can't you see the way I feel about you?

Mason

Alex, I'm sorry! Something just came over me!

Alex

(takes off the necklace) I never want to see you again! (throws the necklace, waves her wand and disappears)

Max

Dude, I don't know what you just did but she seems pretty hurt. I'm gonna let it slide so you and I are still good.

Justin

(pushes Max away) No!

Mason

Justin please! Let me explain this!

Justin

There's nothing to explain. You broke Alex's heart. (to Max) He's not good with any of us.

Max

I figured. I tried but it was totally hard to misread the situation.

Max

Alex went to Pennsylvania!

Jerry

The Keystone State!

Justin

Are you sure she didn't say Transylvania?

Max

I don't know. Say 'Pennsylvania' with a British accent.

Justin

(in normal voice) Transylvania.

Max

That was it.

(singing) Broke my heart down the road. Spent the weekend sewing the pieces back on. Crayons and dolls pass me by. Walking gets too boring when you learn how to fly. Not the homecoming kind. Take the top off and who knows what you might find. Won't confess all of my sins. You can bet I'll try it but you can't always win. 'Cause I'm a gypsy. Are you coming with me?

(transforms into Uncle Kelbo)

Uncle Kelbo?

Max

[comes home] I did it. I told Nancy the truth.

Jerry

We're proud of you Max.

Theresa

Isn't it easier telling the truth, honey?

Max

I'm so relieved that I told her I'm a wizard.

[do a spit take]

[look at Max] YOU WHAT?!?!

Theresa

Max! When I told you to tell the truth to Nancy I meant to her the truth about being a Russo, not about being a wizard!

Max

You wanted me to tell her the truth but not the whole truth? This truth thing is confusing, mom. To tell you the truth.

Alex

Yeah, I mean you tell the truth you get in trouble. You lie you get in trouble. We're probably just better off not talking to each other.

Jerry

What did Nancy say when you told her?

Max

She didn't believe me.

Jerry

Max, you really need to work on how you give information when you tell a story. I mean, if I had a ketchup bottle when you said you told her, I would have squeezed it and ketchup would have been flying everywhere.

Jerry

Harper please hand me the ketchup. [Harper gives Jerry the ketchup]

Max

But then I took her on a magic carpet ride and she totally believed me.

Jerry

Ahhh! (squeezes the ketchup bottle)

Theresa

[opens her mouth]