Theresa Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Theresa

[after seeing two movie clerks talking about two new characters in Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 2] Miss, two tickets for that, uh, disaster...party--bingo!--Halloween thing, yeah.

Theresa

[walks into the Wizard Lair] Ooh, yay! I'm in the Wizard Lair. Or as I like to call, "The Garage Sale That Never Happened".

Theresa

(Holding nose) I hate living with wizards.

Justin

C'mon guys, hurry! We've got to go check on Dragon!

Max

Why? If anyone messes with him, he'll just breathe fire.

Alex

(Annoyed) That's what we're worried about.

Max

What? I thought we just didn't want him to take leaks in the house.

Justin

Hey guys. Gotta go check on dragon.

Theresa

Wait, Justin.

Alex

What's going on?

Theresa

Those flyers you put up worked. Dragon's rightful owner came and picked him up.

Alex

His owner?

Theresa

I'm sorry, honey.

Theresa

Oh Maxy, promise you'll never grow up and leave me!

Max

But I'm supposed to be taking out the trash.

Theresa

Oh, no. Your daddy will take out the trash.

Max

Thank you, daddy.

Jerry

Save it.

Jerry

Ok Max, now that your full powers are here. its time for the hat.

Alex

Oh not the hat!

Max

What hat?

Alex

Dad that hats so ugly!

Max

What hat?!?!

Theresa

I cant believe my mijito is ready for the hat!

Max

Somebody tell me about the hat already!

Alex

Max, how would you get a genie to come back to her lamp?

Max

I know, orange soda.

Alex

What?

Max

If someone poured orange soda in my room I'd be really mad.

Theresa

You spilled orange soda in your room again didn't you? What did we say about taking it up there?

Max

See she's really mad and she's going to my room.

Theresa

Okay, and on the way we can pick up your new wizard's robes!

Justin

Oh, no, Mom. They do just black bathrobes now. Wizard's robes are too formal for these casual times.

Jerry

Justin, get in the kitchen right now!

Justin

OK, Come on Isabella we're going in the kitchen...

Theresa

No No, Isabella has to stay here because, of, the, the thing

Justin

What thing?

Jerry

Justin, you come in the kitchen, Isebella, you stay here

Jerry

"Popcon's in town!

Justin

"Popcon's in town!!"

Theresa

"Popcon's in town!?"

Max

"Popcorn's in town!!? That doesn't make any sense...why am I so excited?"

Jerry

No Alex, you stay, you're not disqualified. I got that fair and square. [stands up] YOUR MOTHER IS STACKING THE TEAMS AGAINST US!!

Justin

That's what I'm talking about!

Theresa

What? You heard her! She cheated.

Justin

And I'm livid. You know what? They should both be disqualified out of here.

Jerry

Oh, this is totally bogus!

Max

Dad's pouting 'cause he lost a fight again,

Theresa

No! We are not fighting, that's one thing we are not doing; we're not fighting. So stop fighting! The neighbors can hear us!

That's it! I'm calling the cops.

Jerry

(moves his arms like he's karate chopping)

Max

Karate Kid!

Jerry

We are not fighting! We're trying to make a good impression!

Theresa

Jerry! Help us!

Jerry

Ahh!

Jerry

Not the milkshake machine! PLEASE!!!!

Theresa

[To Family] I knew it!

Hand over the Milkshake Machine

Jerry

Here's the Milkshake Machine

Theresa

JERRY!!!

Theresa

Let's find Alex and get out of here.

Jerry

Right, and before she figures out that there's a school on board.

Alex

Did you guys know that there's a school on board?

Jerry

Not until you apologize for almost biting my daughter's neck and turning her into a vampire for all of eternity!

Alright, alright, we're sorry! Why don't we smooth it over with a little bit of ice cream?

Jerry

Really? You're about to turn our daughter into a vampire, and you think you can just "smooth it over" with some ice cream?

So you don't want the ice cream?

Jerry

No, we want the ice cream.

Theresa

Jerry!

Jerry

Um...and I think we need more of an apology.

Unlimited toppings?

Jerry

I accept your apology. I'll take mine in a cup.

Alex

Dad! They were just about to eat our blood!

Jerry

That's right! This is unacceptable! Harper was going to be the one to take care of us in our old age!

Harper

(quietly) Yes!

Alright! I'll make dinner, too! Who's up for some really rare steaks?