Alex Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Alex

Mason! (sees a trail of rose petals on the floor) Rose petals? What did you do? We're suppose to be friends.

Mason

Those aren't from me, but I have my suspicions.

Dean

(outside) Hey yo Russo! Like my flowers?

Mason

Suspicions confirmed.

Mason

(burps then smiles nervously) I ate Dean.

(shocked)

Max

(gives Mason a thumbs up)

Alex

Mason! You can't just go around eating people! This isn't-this isn't-(turns to Harper) What place am I trying to think of Harper?

Harper

No place! There's no place where you can just go around eating people!

Mason

I'm sorry.

Alex

You're sorry?! How could you do this?!

Mason

Well it was easy because his hair was greasy and then he kinda got stuck at the shoulders.

Max

Yeah so then this guy started choking so then I just shrunk Dean down and made him easier to eat. :(pats Mason's back)

Alex

(looks at Harper)

Mason

Alex, I'm sorry. I saw how well you were getting along with Dean and I guess I got a little jealous.

Alex

THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN EAT HIM! DUHH

Alex

Justin! Justin! We need your help! Mason ate Dean.

Justin

Not now Alex. I'm trying to get through to my class. HE ATE DEAN?!

Felix

The hairy guy ate somebody?

Max

Yeah, he's a werewolf.

Nice!

Alex

Justin please! We have to find a way to get Dean out of Mason.

Felix

Let's cut him open!

Mason

Let's not cut him open! He's a very nice guy.

Harper

Nice guy? You ate somebody!

Dudes, let's all shrink down with the Up and Atom spell, go inside him, and then bounce around his stomach until he barfs up Dean!

[agrees]

Alex

Okay, next!

Justin

No, no, no, no. Tyler might be onto something here.

Sweet!

Justin

Okay, we're gonna need some kind of fully functional miniature submarine.

Alex

I know where we can get one. (waves wand and a small cow-patterned box appears on table)

Justin

No. Not my Captain Jim Bob Sherwood fully functional Country Cow submarine! If I open it it will be worth nothing!

Alex

Justin.

Justin

No.

Alex

Going inside Mason's body would be the greatest adventure anyone could ever have. Jim Bob would jump at the chance.

Justin

You...are right. (grabs box) This is a Captain Jim Bob job. (opens box reluctantly) Ah! It smells new.

Alex

I still don't understand why a submarine crew has to dress up like cows.

Max

Cows? I thought we were dalmatians. Now it's just weird.

Justin

Country cow submarine? What a crew. (shows Harper to the Abracadoodler) Okay, I've turned the Abracadoodler into a submarine tracking sonar scope.

Harper

(sits down) Oh perfect. I can't wait to not know what to use this for.

Dean

What happened? What are you guys wearing? And WHAT AM I COVERED IN?!

Justin

Alex you got this one right? (walks away)

Harper

She lives for these moments! (follows Justin)

Max

Simon says follow them! (follows Harper)

Alex

Um, okay, well, you see, Dean you got knocked out by a flying bowl of oatmeal. And we called the doctor, and he said the only way to wake you up was to dress up like cows.

Mason

(to Alex) Really? That's your story?

Alex

(whispers) Give it a minute!

Dean

That's a good doctor.

Alex

Mom, dad, I have some really exciting news. I've decided to get back in the Wizard Competition.

Theresa

(distracted by Skee Ball) It's in the drawer with the dead batteries. A hundred, Jerry!

Alex

Are you even listening? I am going to win the Wizards Competition so Mason and I can be together.

Jerry

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, honey. (reaches into pocket) Here's twenty dollars. (hands to Alex) Take your own candy. (rolls ball) Ah haha! A hundred and fifty points, Theresa!

Mason

Let me try. I ate Dean today.

(stop playing) What?!

Alex

He said we're going to the movies. Bye! (the episode ends as Alex and Mason run down the street)

Alex

Justin, please tell me-oooh, cotton candy! (takes a piece of the swirl)

Jerry

Max was in it.

Alex

[drops the cotton candy]

Alex

Yes you did. [in a baby voice] You're the best brother ever.

Justin

Get out!

Alex

[skips happily to the portal door]

Justin

Alex, why are you wasting my time? You were suppose to transform into Justin Bieber not "Just a beaver."

Alex

[as a beaver] What went wrong? I did the spell correctly!

Max

[enters the lair from the portal] Hey guys. So I moved up the wizard competition to Monday at 4pm. Let's just get this thing done. [leaves]

WHAT?!

Alex

I can't believe that Max moved up the final wizard competition! Is that even legal?

Justin

[reading a book] Yeah the Wizard Competition Code states it. Only Max can change the date back. Okay, don't worry about it. I'll...go talk to him. I can reason with him.

Alex

Say that last sentence again.

Justin

I can reason with him. [realizes what he said] I will...distract him with something shiny.

Harper

[to Alex] Alex, I think you're being replaced as daddy's little girl.

Alex

[mildly annoyed] Please, I'm daddy's little girl. [referring to 'Max/Maxine'] That is daddy's little freak.

Alex

You're going to throw away everything that we've been working so hard on to get back into the competition for some girl that you barely even know.

Justin

I know her.

Alex

Good, 'cause I have no idea who you are.

Alex

You know what you guys need? An inspirational speech. [stands up on a chair] Okay, we can succeed without Justin. If we believe in each other, we can accomplish anything we set our minds to. So I say, fellow delinquents, we can do it, I think.

We can do it, I think. We can do it, I think. We can do it, I think!

Alex

Yeah! I think.

Felix

Yes! We did it! You're my new Mr. Justin but pretty.

Alex

Aww. [blushes and hides her face behind the paper]