Max Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Max

No, wait, well..yes. But I'm MAXIMAN!

Max

I love tether ball! It's the only ball you can never lose!

Max

Oh I heard him! He said that you and him are going to start your evil lives together! Congratulations!

Max

TOTAL LAWLESSNESS! (shatters the bottles on the counter top)

Justin

Edgebonoutoosis! [He clones the rabbit]

Jerry

Good! Thank you Justin! That is how you execute the duplication spell properly. Real rabbit, duplica... duplicate rabbit real rab.. It's... ANYWAYS, there's two now!

Max

What's the big deal? They're rabbits. Wait 5 minutes and they'll duplicate by themselves.

Max

What's Deja Vu?

Jerry

It's when you feel like something happened before.

Alex

For example, dad you have five dollars?

Jerry

umm.. Why?

Alex

Cause I need five dollars.. Deja Vu, huh Justin?

Justin

So Alex, what was your first kiss like?

Alex

You know, it was in this place...with this guy...and it was very romantic. Over Christmas Vacation.

Max

We went to Grandma's over Christmas Vacation.

Justin

Wait a minute! You haven't kissed a guy yet! [smugly] I so have this over you now!

Alex

No you don't!

Justin

I know so when I go to school tomorrow and tell everyone you've never kissed anyone, no one'll care.

Max

We didn't play paintball!

Justin

...What are pigeons eating now a'days?

I'll show you a lair!

Max

[To Alex] Wow, you weren't kidding He really does do that.

Jerry

[Throwing a tantrum, the spell broken] It's! Gah! Mars! Who- !? ALEX!!?

Alex

Maybe it's not so ridiculous!

Max

Not to mention she left me on Mars.

Alex

H-He's right, it's completely my fault.

Jerry

You are in SO MUCH trouble, young lady!

Alex

...I know. (she hugs him, and he points his finger up speechlessly)

Justin

C'mon guys, hurry! We've got to go check on Dragon!

Max

Why? If anyone messes with him, he'll just breathe fire.

Alex

(Annoyed) That's what we're worried about.

Max

What? I thought we just didn't want him to take leaks in the house.

Justin

Hey guys. Gotta go check on dragon.

Theresa

Wait, Justin.

Alex

What's going on?

Theresa

Those flyers you put up worked. Dragon's rightful owner came and picked him up.

Alex

His owner?

Theresa

I'm sorry, honey.

Theresa

Oh Maxy, promise you'll never grow up and leave me!

Max

But I'm supposed to be taking out the trash.

Theresa

Oh, no. Your daddy will take out the trash.

Max

Thank you, daddy.

Jerry

Save it.

Jerry

Here, I've already written one down for you, just read that and concentrate.

Max

Satisfy my empty belly, make me a peanut butter and jelly. [Max turns into a PBJ sandwich]

Jerry

You see what I just did there? I just illustrated the dangers of "Spell Improv". [Justin is about to eat Max] Ha-di-di-da! You have to use your words very carefully because in the Wizard World they take you literally. So, when Max said "Make me a peanut butter and jelly," they made him a peanut butter and jelly. [Justin begins to open Max and throws him back onto the couch] Yhoy!

Alex

Oh, I get it! Let me try it. Although I love such tasty snacks, I'd rather have my brother Max. [Max turns back into a human]

Justin

Hello!

Max

[To Justin] Hey, thanks for not eating me.

Jerry

Alex, you're a natural.

Alex

Thanks, that wasn't even true!

Jerry

Ok Max, now that your full powers are here. its time for the hat.

Alex

Oh not the hat!

Max

What hat?

Alex

Dad that hats so ugly!

Max

What hat?!?!

Theresa

I cant believe my mijito is ready for the hat!

Max

Somebody tell me about the hat already!

Max

I know a Jeannie. Jeannie Kowalski. Jeannie's dont like it when you flick them in the ear. That's lesson number one.

Jerry

No, lesson number one is leave that girl alone. She's bigger than you.