Will & Grace · Season 9
[Will and Grace find out they're sleeping with the same man]
Well, this is a first.
Yeah.
We did say we wanted to do crazy things. To feel young.
Well, sexuality is fluid now. It's what young people do.
You know what young people don't do? Say "That's what young people do".
I'm being nice. Pretending to care about something when you want to kill yourself is what a human being does.
Thanks for lending me your car, Karen. It's so fancy! What kind is it?
A black one. Oops, I mean an "African-AmeriCar". Better watch out for the PC police. Now, take me to Jew-dorf Goodman, you big, mincing butt pirate!
I need closure, Grace. I need to find out why he broke up with me.
You don't.
It's two minutes of his time. What could go wrong in two minutes?
Ask every girl who ever got pregnant at her prom.
Did you just steal a badge from a cop?
Did you just eat an entire tray of sliders?
I'll keep your secret if you keep mine.
Will! I just got amazing news!
Grace got an STD!
I did not say "STD", I said "QVC".
Well, they're both ways to get something cheap that looks awful.
If I'm gay, isn't coming out of the closet a good thing?
It was once. But you know how people thought eggs were good for you, but then we discovered they weren't?
But eggs are good for you.
Tell that to the chicken who just lost a child.
Mother always said the best way to get over one guy is to get under, behind and sideways with another one.
All right, I am off to the tennis club. I know what you're thinking - didn't I already work out this morning? Yes, but if I burn off a few more calories after work, I can hit the pressed juicery. I know, those things are pure sugar, but what can I say, I love 'em.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait - oh, my God, I didn't know this was going to be a story about juice! You know what, back it up, start at the beginning, and really drag it out this time, okay?
[on the phone] One pound of proscuitto, one pound of mortadella, five kinds of cheese, from mild to stinky, big vat of coleslaw... [to Jack] Almost done.
Are you ordering a deli platter?
Having phone sex with Stan.
This is all your fault!
How is this my fault?
Because you made me write down my feelings like a WASP instead of eating them like a Jew!
Oh my God, you scared me! I thought someone was robbing the place!
I'm not robbing the place, I'm just rifling through drawers looking for money.
Why are the hot ones always gay or Nazis?
We are going to Schenectady.
Schenectady? But that's where your family lives.
We are going there to celebrate my mom's birthday. It was her dying wish.
I thought her dying wish was for you to get breast implants.
She had a lot of dying wishes.
My dad always wanted me to watch golf with him.
Really? What's your handicap?
That I hate golf.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
