Will Truman quotes from Will & Grace

Karen

You'll never guess who just walked in!

Jack

Is it Greg Evigan, from TV's B.J. and the Bear and, after a brief hiatus, My Two Dads?

Will

You know, I never realized how gay those shows sounded. It's a wonder he didn't follow them up with a show called "Hey Faggot!"

Will

[about Karen's pastry chef] The man is an artist. You wouldn't fire Picasso, would you?

Karen

I would and I did. He put both breasts on one side of my body. I wouldn't take it from plastic surgeon and I wouldn't take it from him.

Jack

I was just having an executive's meeting at OutTV, and I had a huge realization.

Will

That, six months ago, all of you were cater waiters?

Karen

That, six months from now, all of you will be cater waiters?

Jack

Will, you're mean. Karen, you're hilarious.

Will

It's hard to believe that this is an up-and-coming gay spot.

Jack

Are you kidding? This place is so gay the state bird is a condom.

Grace

She wants to study me. She thinks I'm interesting.

Will

You're not interesting! We passed, like, 20 of you on the way here!

Will

I'm all about helping people. It's what I do.

Grace

You don't know what you do. You start this charity job today.

Will

That's right, and starting today this big blue marble is gonna be a better place.

Grace

Wow. If someone can figure out how to eat smug, you could feed the whole world.

Will

Look at this picture. If you look closely, I swear you can see Katie Holmes mouthing "help me!"

Grace

Please. She made her own twin beds.

Karen

Hey, J. Hey, WAG.

Grace

Huh?

Karen

Will and Grace - WAG.

Will

Just glad my name isn't Frank.

OK...Famous for nothing.

Will

Carmen Electra!

Right! Oh, um...If I see her face again I'll scream.

Will

Paris Hilton.

The other one.

Will

Lindsay Lohan?

The other one.

Will

Tom Cruise?

Right!

Will

Grace, it doesn't matter how you look. He cares about you, not about your clothes.

Grace

Are you kidding?

Will

I know, even as I said it I didn't believe it.

Jack

The ratings for "Jack Talk" came in. We got a 17 rating and a 10 share.

Grace

Wow.

Will

In this case, that means 17 people watched, and 10 of them were dressed as Cher.

Will

Well, I did it. Today I stuck it to The Man!

Grace

Finally. That was a long dry spell.

Jack

[to Will] I can't wait to meet your gay nephew.

Grace

You guys think everyone is gay. Jordy's only nine. It's no big deal that he went as Wonder Woman on Halloween.

Will

He didn't go as Wonder Woman, Grace. He went as Lynda Carter.

Will

[on the phone with Grace] I think I met someone.

Grace

I don't see how that's possible, because every gay man in the city is in this theater. There's so much lisping going on it's like someone poked a hole in the lobby.

Will

Now, back to my office. I want it to look more masculine.

Grace

Then stay out of it.