And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's sweet and sneaky schoolgirl.
Her last known whereabouts: Chicago, Illinois. You might think American theater starts and ends at Broadway, but there are professional theaters all over the country. Chicago's Goodman Theater is one of the best. That's why actors like Brian Dennehy and Kathleen Turner perform there alongside the Goodman's resident company. The Goodman has presented live drama, comedy, and musicals since 1925. Or it did until today when Patty Larceny showed up armed with an autographed book and a bouquet. She took center stage and rocked the place to tears, then she mopped it off and vanished into thin air. Gumshoes, you've got to close this case...
...BADWOMAN STEALS GOODMAN!
Come on, you guys! Come on! The Eggman!
Come on. Answer. ACME's closing in!
PPatty
(on answering machine) Hi. This is Patty. I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message and if I can fit you into my busy schedule, I'll get back to you. (machine beeps)
Guess who, twinkletoes? If you don't scram, I'll be leaving messages with your warden. Take the theatre to a capital on the Danube River. The nightlife there has been buzzing since the fall of Communism. Restaurants, cafes, and theatres are all crowded with people. There's even a Pah shopping street nicknamed the Fifth Avenue of eastern Europe. And one more thing, I really hate answering machines. (machine beeps and Carmen hangs up the phone)
(the Chief sings "The Wheels on the Bus" as she, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Wuhan, China)
And the wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. Around--
Chief. Chief. Chief, I've always hated that song.
(each time the Goodman Theatre is revealed)
Thievin' theatre!
Pilfered persinium!
Another openin'! (a la Ethel Merman)
Stage handled!
And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's twinkling teenage terrorist.
Her last known whereabouts: the world's transportation system. Over the last 30 years or so, airports and train stations around the world have adopted roughly the same set of sign pictures to assist their evermore international flow of passengers. The international transportation-related symbols can help you tell a denwa from a zōn. Or they did until today when Patty Larceny made a mad dash through every airport in the world and stole all the symbols. She also wrapped up a huge load of frequent flyer miles. Gumshoes, here's your job: capture Carmen, put Patty in the pokey, and bring back those symbols...
...SIGNED, STEALED, AND DELIVERED!
PPatty
I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Go look for her in Europe.
Everybody, repeat after me! It's time...!
AAudience
Carmen Sandiego!
AAudience
Carmen Sandiego!
Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playing music by Kenny G. Get Carmen in here before I freak out! She scooted to (continent).
Robocrook Unit-059 calling. The judge threw the wrench at Robocrook. I'm sentenced to 20 years as a jailhouse soda machine. Get Carmen to help. You'll find her in (continent).
This prison gym is terrible. I can only bench press 1000 pounds. Make Carmen bring me more weight. You'll find her in (continent).
PPatty
(same as season 3)
Prison life is so uncivilized. 600 rooms and not a room service menu in sight. Tell Carmen this is more than I can bear. She went to (continent).
Now that I'm in prison, I'll get really famous. They want me on Current Copy, Inside Affair, and Hard Edition. Tell Carmen to cut a deal. You'll find her in (continent).
92 planets, 92 jail cells, My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up. I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry. Go find her in (continent).
TGTop Grunge
(same as season 3)
These prison clothes offend my unique sense of fashion. Isn't my right to wear plaid in the Constitution? Carmen is in (Continent). Tell her to get me a lawyer.
Know why they call me Wonder Rat? 'Cause it's a wonder that I'd rat on my own boss. (giggles) Carmen scooted to (Continent). Go get her.
PPatty
I just got back from the prison laundry, and they mixed colors and whites in the same wash! (cries) I can't stand it anymore! Go find Carmen in (Continent). Tell her to help me.
A virus has infected my system software. It causes me to divulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in (Continent). Please, don't say that I sent you.
Prison sports are really fun. I get used as a frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base. Carmen should see me play, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.
Aw, man! This prison life is bogus. The guards just confiscated my tattoos. Carmen's gotta spring me, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.
This prison food is so dreadfully boring, I can't even get a jar of Grey Poupon. Maybe Carmen could help, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.
We were partners in crime. We should be cellmates in jail, but the warden wants to split up this dream team. Carmen's laying low in (Continent). Tell her she's gotta help.
(coughs) Prison life is so disgusting, I can't believe I have to live in a place this clean. (coughs) Carmen's hiding in (Continent). (snorts) Go tell her to spring me. (sneezes)
I thought maybe I take some classes while I was in jail, but the warden says they don't have a nursery school. I need Carmen to help me, but she's in (Continent). Go get her.
Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? · 274 quotes