Trina quotes from Victorious

Tori

(checks the time) Aww great, 3 and a 1/2 hours late.

Trina

Why do you care?

Tori

I'm supposed to meet Andre, Beck, and Cat to write a script for class that's due in the morning.

Trina

What teacher?

Tori

Gradstein.

Trina

Ooh, he's tough.

Tori

No chiz.

Trina

What is "chiz" anyway?

Tori

Andre thinks it's a German sausage. (Trina looks confused)

Trina

(kicks Trina's seat) Did you just kick my seat again?

Why don't you ask your butt?

Trina

Look, if you don't knock it off, I'm gonna tell the flight attendant.

Ooh, you're a scary witch.

Trina

I wish I was a witch 'cause I would take my broomstick and I would-

Tori

Trina, sit. (Trina sits back down)

Trina

(reaches for a button) I need some more air.

Tori

You have a pimple under your arm.

Trina

Don't talk about it!

Cat

Hi.

Beck

You requested my face?

Who’s dog is that?

Tori

Is it yours?

Beck

No I'm watching him for my neighbor while she's at her cheerleading practice.

Andre

My neighbor is a 1 legged man who throws lemons at me.

Trina

Will you pop this for me?

Tori

No.

Trina

I let you borrow my green sweater last week.

Tori

And that means I should pop your pit pimple?

Trina

Yes, we're sisters, if you had a pit pimple, I'd-(little boy kicks Trina's seat again)

Trina

Quit kicking my seat!

(mocking) Quit kicking my seat!

Your desserts. (hands Tori and Trina an odd-looking dessert)

Trina

What is this?

I dunno pudding.

Trina

Aww, it's got fur on it.

Tori

(giggles) Just like your pimple (Trina look offended while Andre is grossed out)

Trina

Hey, are you gonna eat your pudding?

Tori

You ate yours?

Trina

Yeah, I just scraped the fur right off the top, it wasn't bad.

Tori

(disgusted but hands Trina her pudding) Go nuts. (Trina takes the pudding)

Trina

Fifty bucks.

Robbie

Seems expensive.

Trina

You want gross, crunchy feet? 'Cause girls don't dig that! (he reluctantly gives her the money)

Tori

Okay. I have left her five voice mails and sent her twelve text messages. Why won't Cat talk to me?!?

André

'Cause you squirted hot cheese in her ear!

Robbie

And played smushy face with her boyfriend.

Jade

Those things upset some girls.

Trina

(to Tori) You wanna try the pooka fish?

Tori

You got rice and soy sauce?

Trina

No.

Tori

Then no!

Trina

(about Mark) HE is ridiculously hot. Everybody says he's an awesome kisser.

David

Make sure he knows...(into the phone, to Mark) I'm a cop.

Tori

Okay, it says that you're supposed to take one of these antibiotics every six hours.

Trina

Uh-uh.

Tori

Okay, open your mouth.

Trina

I don't want that! [she whimpers]

Tori

You have to take it or you'll get an infection.

Trina

No Tori! I don't want it!

Tori

Yes you have to take it, put it in your mouth, put it in your mouth. (says this while Tori tries to get the pill into Trina's mouth as she is struggling)

Tori

Trina! (goes to retrieve the bottle)

Tori

You gotta take this.

Trina

No!

Tori

Yes.

Trina

No! (Trina swings her arm toward Tori and Tori ducks)

Tori

Did you just swing on me?

Trina

(breathing on her hair) Maybe.

Tori

(fixes her messed up hair and yells) Take the pill!

Trina

(screams) No! (Tori tussles with Trina trying to force the pill into her mouth)

Tori

Yes. You have to take it..it's going in your mouth. I don't care what you say. (continues to tussle Trina with her arm around her neck and hair while Trina tries to get her arm off)

Tori

Take the antibiotic, there we go, get it in. Ha, ha! (Trina whimpers as Tori grabs a water bottle) Now swallow it!

Trina

(Tori dumps the water all over her while protesting) No!

Tori

(continues dumping water all over Trina) That's right, get it down there, aha!

Trina

(groans and strains after Tori dumps water all over her)

Beck

Who texted you?

Andre

Tori.

Beck

What'd she say?

Andre

"Need you, Beck and Robbie to...take care of Trina 'till midnight."

Beck

Gross, no.

Robbie

I'm not spending my Saturday night here with Trina!

Trina

SOMEBODY has to stay with me!

Robbie

Ow, you're biting, you're biting! Ohhhh-

Beck

Come on, we're leaving. (his phone rings)

Andre

Who texted you?

Beck

Jade.

Andre

What'd she say?

Beck

"Hey, babe, you can't leave Tori's house; I took your car keys." (throws his phone annoyed)

Robbie

(takes his fingers out of Trina's mouth) Ew. Gum blood! (rubs it on her hair)

Cat

So...I heard you went out with Jessica Wolf last night...

Robbie

Oh yes...I did.

Andre

So, how'd it-

Trina

(walking by) Hi, Tori, Tori's friends.

Andre

So, your date with Jessica.

Robbie

AWE-some!

Tori

Uh, not according to her last update on TheSlap.

Robbie

What'd she write?

Tori

It was kinda mean.

Andre

Read it! (Cat laughs)

Tori

"Last night: Worst date ever."

Robbie

Oh. Well, um, maybe she went out with some other guy after she went out with me, and then she wrote that about the other guy.

Tori

"Dude brought a puppet."

A puppet?

Robbie

Oh, she was talking about me.

Trina

Do me a flavor, put this credit card back in Mom's purse? (gives it to Tori)

Tori

(puts it in her back pocket) Why do I have to put this credit card back in-oh...

Trina

I just wanted a tamale.

Lane

[very fast] Well, you went and broke his tamale-makin' arm so now what!!?