Trina quotes from Victorious

Trina

Can I have a coffee too?

No.

[to Trina] It's not good. [to himself] So good.

Tori

The song was your present.

Trina

How much did it cost?

Tori

It didn't cost money.

Trina

(mockingly) Then it's not a present.

Trina

Are you gonna finish that coffee?

Tori

No, Jade found it in the -- You can have it.

Trina

Thanks. [Trina blows her a kiss and walks away.]

Tori

That's right. Drink the garbage coffee.

Cat

Oh, punch buggy blue! [punches Trina's arm]

Trina

Dude! [punches Cat's arm]

Cat

Ow! [other car honks]

Trina

[honks back] SHUT UP!

Tori

Listen to me. If you 2 morons aren't back here before the play starts and I have to go on stage looking like a zombie, I'm gonna punch both your buggies! Do you- !? [Marty shows up near her] I love you too, grandma, thanks for the quilt. [hangs up]

Trina

Quilt? [other car honks] SHUT UP!!! [honks back]

You know I FLAUNT ya, 'cause girl I really WANT ya!

Trina

And you lookin' NICE.

Cat

Got me cooler than a bag of ICE.

Now, FREEZE, freeze! ...Now go.

Trina

Drop it fast, then move it real slow.

[they point at each other] Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, WHAT?

Trina

You smell so FRUITY... [Cat says nothing] Sing the next line!

Cat

I can't.

Trina

Why not?

Cat

It's dirty.

Trina

That's it, I'm calling her. What's Cat's number?

Jade

I already tried.

Beck

No signal.

Andre

Oh man, I told y'all not to get F-Mobile.

Tori

Well, where's your phone?

Andre

I left it in my pants, and my grandma washed it. All my contacts, gone.

Jade

Just open it!

Beck

Something's blocking the door. (Tori looks through the window)

Tori

Oh, man. Some idiot parked a huge RV right next to us.

Trina

Whatever. Let's just go out the back door.

Beck

There is no back door.

Trina

Well, that's stupid.

Andre

I'm getting very hot now.

Robbie

Would somebody open the window?

Jade

The windows are bulletproof. They don't open.

Oh, thanks a lot, Fat Biscuit.

Jade

What?

I meant the rapper from whom Beck's daddy purchased this vehicle.

Andre

I'm getting hotter.

Tori

Just push on the door.

Beck

I can't push a 7000-pound RV out of the way.

Tori

Then push harder! (they start to argue)

Andre

All right! Let's not bug out. (the argument stops)

Tori

Dude, no one knows we're trapped in this toaster oven.

Andre

Cat just went to the bathroom. She's gonna be back in a few minutes, then she can start becks truck and then pull us forward so we can get out.

Good point.

Jade

Okay. (they sit on the sofa to wait for Cat)

Jade

At least it oscillates.

Andre

Um. I'm still not happy.

Trina

I'm so hot.

Robbie

Where could Cat be?

Tori

I hope she's okay.

Andre

(the fan starts to slow down) Uh oh. Uh oh.

Tori

It's slowing down. (the fan stops and everyone groans)

Robbie

NOOOO!!!!!! (Robbie grabs the fan) Come on, fan. Work.

Beck

Robbie.

Robbie

Work!

Beck

Robbie.

Robbie

Spin!

Beck

Stop.

Robbie

No, we gotta make it work.

Beck

Robbie. Robbie. Stop it.

Robbie

No, I need it! I need it!

Beck

The batteries are dead. Robbie, stop.

Robbie

Oscillate! Spin!

Beck

(shakes Robbie) IT'S OVER! (Robbie gets up, yelling indistinctly and then buries his head in the pillow while screaming)

Andre

I'm feeling extremely hot now.

Trina

We got to get out of this stupid RV. (Beck looks at her) Yeah, offense.

Tori

We, at least, have to find something to drink.

Tori

[notices Trina with her head down her bag] Trina? What are you doing?

Trina

What do you mean?

Tori

Why was your head in your bag?

Trina

It's c..cool in there.

Tori

I heard you swallow. Give me the bag.

Trina

No.

Tori

Give me the bag, Trina! Give me the bag!

Trina

NOOOOOOOO! [they wrestle with the bag, while everyone looks at them. Tori takes the bag and discovers a bottle of water in there; much to everyone's outrage]

Tori

Water. Trina has water.

Trina

Give it back!

Tori

You had water...THIS ENTIRE TIME...and you didn't share it with the rest of us?

Trina

If I shared it, I wouldn't have had as much for me.

Jade

(sweating) Okay. Okay. Something's dripping on me. Something's dripping on me.

Beck

(goes to Jade) Not-not-nothing's dripping.

Jade

Yes. Look on my arm. See? (holds her forehead) And on my forehead. What's going on? What's happening?!

Beck

You're sweating.

Jade

No! No, I'm not. I don't sweat. I'm not sweating.

Beck

Okay.

Jade

No! (Beck holds her arms)

Beck

Look at me!

Jade

No!

Beck

Look at me!

Jade

WHAT?

Beck

You're sweating. (Jade squeals and falls on the floor)

Jade

We've gotta get outta here.

Tori

Yeah. Thank you, Catherine Obvious.

Trina

What?

Tori

I said thank you, Catherine Obvious.

Robbie

(still crying) Did she say "Catherine" Obvious?

Andre

It's Captain Obvious.

Tori

What?

Jade

The expression is "Thank You, Captain Obvious".

Tori

It's not Catherine?

Trina

No.

Beck

Who would Catherine be?

Tori

Catherine could be a captain.

Robbie

[annoyed] These fish mock me.

Trina

How dare they swim around, enjoying that filthy water.

Robbie

I'm gonna drink that filthy water. [the others try to talk him out of it] What choice do I have?!

Beck

It's his call.

Andre

Well?

Trina

That's my bag.

Robbie

[after he is done vomiting] ...Don't drink the fish water. [throws bag at Trina]

Robbie

Well, can we at least turn on the air conditioning?

Beck

The AC doesn't work unless the truck is running.

Trina

Then go start the truck.

Beck

I can't get out.

Trina

Ohhhhh, why did you invite me here?

Tori

We didn't.

Robbie

You invited yourself.

Jade

No one likes you!

Andre

I'm feeling very hot now.

Robbie

(looks at the thermometer) Guys, It's 102° in here. (everyone groans)

Tori

I need a cold drink.

Beck

(stands up) Me too.

Tori

Where are they?

Beck

In the truck.

Trina

What are we gonna do?

Tori

CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! [everybody joins Tori] CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT!

Trina

Hey Tori... hey!

Tori

What?

Trina

Is this chicken? (shows Tori an odd-looking food)

Tori

(sniffing) I think it might be a pineapple... or part of a thumb.

Trina

(groans) I can't eat airplane food too gross. Ugh! (dumps her airplane food essentials on Tori's tray table)

Tori

And why is this now on my tray table?

Trina

Cause I'm done with it.

Trina

(looks from behind) Hey kid I told you to stop kicking my seat.

So? (continues kicking Trina's seat)

Trina

Stop that!

You're not the queen of this plane.

Trina

(to the little boy's dad) Excuse me will you please do something about your son.

Will you stop kicking her seat?

No.

(shrugs at Trina)