Cat quotes from Victorious

Cat!

Cat

Oh, hey.

Take this. Now Mason wants me to try the blue skirt.

Cat

Why doesn't he like this one?

OOliver

I think this skirt is pretty.

Just go get the blue one!

Cat

(sighs) C'mon, Oliver.

OOliver

First we had to get the red skirt, now we gotta go get the blue skirt.

Cat

Life is hard.

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Cat

Does anyone have any Bibble?

OOliver

No. You gotta stop chasing that snack.

Cat

But it HURTS!!

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Cat

You guys. You guys, have either of you seen Jade?

Uh uh.

No, why, what's up with Jade?

Cat

She's trying to kill me.

Any reason?

Cat

We were hanging out together last night and she asked me to do her eyebrows.

Do what to 'em?

Cat

Make them look neater and nicer. Girls do that. We groom each other like monkeys.

So, why is Jade trying to kill you?

Cat

Well...

[screams] WHERE IS SHE?! [Cat screams and Jade runs after her] [Sinjin plays his saxophone in a fast tempo to fit in with the chase] Stop her! Somebody stop Cat right now!

Cat

Hide me.

Come here!

Cat

Please hide me!

No! Come here! Stop. Come here!

Cat

Oh, hide me!

Don't touch him! (Cat tries to hide behind Sinjin)

[Lane, who enters the hall, stops Jade and Cat runs to Beck and André]

Cat

HIDE ME!

COME HERE!

Lane

What do you... Stop! Jade, stop. Relax.(Catchs her and holds her)

What was that about?

Why are you so mad at Cat?

[reveals herself that her eyebrows have been shaved off] Don't... say... a word.

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Um... I think you look nice with no eyebrows.

[Jade glares at him]

Cat

Jade, I just wanna say... I really appreciate you having lunch with us, and thank you, André and Beck, for handcuffing Jade to the table.

Sure.

No problem.

[Jade tries to attack Cat, but she's still handcuffed to the table]

I still don't get how this happened.

Cat

Well, Jade asked me to make her eyebrows look nice. So I tried to wax them, but when I took the wax strips off, there was... Um... a problem.

My eyebrows are gone.

Cat

No, they're not. I told you, they're right here! (holds up the wax strips with Jade's eyebrows on them)

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AAH!!

Whoa! Whoa!

AAH! COME HERE, YOU!

Jade, whoa whoa. Watch it.

Cat

Someone...

Don't do that. What are you... stop it.

Hey! Cut it out! Hey!

Sikowitz

You girls knock it off.

I'll get you.

Cat

I don't wanna be gotten.

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Cat

[after Jade shaved all of her hair] I fell asleep during study hall. Jade found me.

Sikowitz

Aw, don't be sad, little one. I think your head looks great like that.

Cat

Of course you do.

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Haven't you ever wondered what it's like to be a blonde?

No.

Cat

I've wondered that. I've also wondered why lemonade is a drink and first aid is for the injured. Like, what if a thirsty person gets injured? Do you give them first aid first, and then lemonade? Or lemonade first, then second aid? (pause) Lemonade. (giggles)

(stares at Cat in disbelief) So, sushi?

Let's go.

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Hey, Tori, here.

Is that a pair of my underwear?

Yeah, my allergies have been so bad today.

What?

Tissues make my nose red and sore. These are so soft. (blows her nose in them)

You've been blowing your nose in my underwear?

Yeah, they're like a giant soft hankie.

Giant?!?

(Robbie approaches)

Well, if it isn't the Vega girls!

Gross.

You're in a good mood.

Yup. Cause I've finished the song I've been writing.

Oh, is it another song about worms?

Not this time!

I hate this guy.

This song's about a girl.

Look, Robbie, I already told you I'm not interested in you.

I didn't mean you. I-

Okay, you know how some girls say "I only like you as a friend"?

Yeah.

I don't even like you that way.

Cat

(runs around giving out hugs) Free hugs! I want to give free hugs!

Someone's a Happy Cat.

Cat

Yeah, me!

Wait, is this because of that guy you met last night?

Cat

Uh, huh.

Oh, you met a fella?

Cat

Yeah, his name's Evan. Oh, and I invited him here tonight to watch Beck's movie!

Oh, yeah, the screenings tonight. I hear the movie turned out pretty good.

I was the wig master.

(Tori and Cat look at Robbie, then walk away)

So, what did Evan do when you told him your blonde hair was really a wig?

Cat

What?

I say, what did Evan do when you told him your blonde hair was really a wig?

Cat

That did not come up.

You never told him you were wearing one of my wigs?

Cat

I guess not.

Or blue contacts?

Cat

Also did not come up.

So, you spent like five hours with this guy, and he still doesn't know what you really look like?

Cat

No. Oh, my god! What if he hates redheaded girls with brown eyes?

Don't worry, he won't.

Are you crying?

Cat

Yeah, I can't help it! (grabs Tori's underwear) I cry when I'm scared! (blows her nose in them) What is this?

Underwear.

Cat

They're so big!

You know what? (grabs underwear and stalks off)

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This is so cool! We're blondes! Wooo! We're like princesses!

Can you be the princess that gets poisoned?

Cat

Why are you so excited to be blonde?

Cause guys love blonde girls, especially with blue eyes. You watch, tonight we're gonna get extra special treatment!

Cat

My brother gets special treatment. From special doctors. (pause) It's court ordered.

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Oh, Cat. I feel like I've done something terrible to you.

Cat

Yeah.

You hate me now?

Cat

(sighs) No. I just want something bad to happen to you. Not like really bad, just something to ruin your weekend.

I'll try.

Cat

I'd appreciate it. (pause) Can I just be alone now?

Okay. (puts her arms out) Hug?

Cat

No.

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That does it! Catarina Valentine, I will not sit here anymore and listen to you talk bad about yourself! You're adorable. Any guy would be lucky as cheese to go out with you.

Cat

Thanks, Robbie, that was really sweet, but you don't know how guys think.

(flabbergasted) Uh...how could...good day! (storms off)

Cheese is lucky?

(from offscreen) Yes!

Jade, tell Cat that when this boy sees her pretty red hair tonight, he's gonna like her even more.

Uh, can't do that.

Why not?

Cause I'm looking at Evan's Splash Face page, scrolling through pics of his ex-girlfriends: blonde, blonde, blonde - whoa, ugly blonde - uh, blonde, oh, and his blue eyed dog with blonde fur. I'm thinking Evan goes for blondes.

Oh, that doesn't mean anything. What are his likes and dislikes?

Uh, likes sushi, video games, girls with blonde hair and blue eyes.

Dislikes?

People who pretend to be something they're not.

Cat

Oh, no! Can I have your underwear again? (Tori hands Cat her underpants, and she cries into them)