Jade quotes from Victorious

Cat

Don't you just love how dogs hang their heads out the window and lick the wind? Watch. (She hangs her head out the window, pants and barks)

Jade

Pull your head back in the car before I roll up the window and cut it off!

Cat

(pulls her head back in, frightened) My head's back in the car.

Jade

Now call Tori and find out where Beck's taking her.

Cat

(to herself) Bossy.

Jade

What?

Cat

Calling Tori!

Cat

Hi, Jade!

Jade

Hey.

Cat

Do you wanna do something fun with me tomorrow night?

Jade

Sure, what?

Cat

I don't know. I figured you'd pick cause you're bossy.

Jade

Don't say I'm bossy!

Cat

Ok! (pause) But you are. (Jade glares) A little bit.

Jade

Whatever. Yeah, let's hang out tomorrow night.

Cat

Ok. But we can't ask Tori to go with us because she's -- (gasps in shock upon realizing she let it out)

Jade

What's Tori doing tomorrow night?

Cat

Nothing! I don't know. (pause) She told me not to tell you.

Jade

5!

Cat

Oh, god.

Jade

4!

Cat

Don't count!

Jade

3!

Cat

Oh, I love 3!

Jade

2!

Cat

Have you heard about the new Pear Pads with the slightly better screen?

Jade

1!

Cat

Ok, ok! (pause) Tori and Beck are going out together.

Jade

What?

Cat

But it's not a date, they're just hanging out as friends!

Jade

Ok. Well, I know what you and I are doing tomorrow night.

Cat

Going to see the big bone?

Jade

No. We're gonna find out where Beck and Tori are going and see whether they're just friends.

Cat

I thought you said I could pick what we do.

Jade

No, I'm picking. (walks away)

Cat

(to herself) Bossy.

Jade

What?

Cat

Nothing.

Jade

Is that a new shirt?

Tori

(looking pleased) Yeah.

Jade

Yikes! Why does it say I'm stupid?

Tori

It does not- (looks at her shirt) oh.

Jade

Where is he?

Cat

Hi.

Tori

I don't remember saying "come in".

Jade

I don't remember saying you could hog Moose.

Tori

What are you talking about?

Jade

(imitating Tori) Oh, Moose my goodness, I certainly do enjoy a fine game of hockey.

Cat

(imitating Tori) Oh, please take me to the hockey game, Moose. I'm ever so desperate!

Tori

I don't talk like that!

Jade

Whatever. You have been hogging Moose and you know it.

Cat

Moose hogger.

Tori

How can I hog a guy if he's not even here?!

Jade

Then where is he?

Tori

He said he wanted to hang out with Beck.

Cat

Hmmm.

Jade

I bet they're at Karaoke Dokie right now.

Cat

Cause that's where the hamburgers are.

Jade

Later.

Cat

Gator.

Tori

No, we don't want YOU!

Jade

Go get the ugly waiter!

Tori

[whispers] She's actually a dude!

Uh, it's getting kinda late. Are you sure this is the way to Karaoke Dokie?

Jade

(pulls car over) Uh, oh. Car's out of gas.

Gauge says you have a full tank.

Jade

(pulls Moose towards her and kisses him) Try not to talk.

Later can we get a hamburger?

Jade

We'll see. (kisses Moose again)

Andre

I don't even miss our phones. You, guys?

Robbie

No.

Tori

Uh huh.

Beck

No.

Tori

How long it has been since we had them?

Jade

Few hours.

Cat

It seems like years!

Robbie

No, it's not that bad.

Cat

Years!

Tori

Whoa! I got 43 text messages!

Jade

I have 200 more followers.

Cat

(watches the Wacky Donkey video everybody is taking about in her phone while laughing) Look at the Wacky Donkey! (Jade and Tori take a peek and laugh too. The laughing ends when Cat throws up at the phone box)

Jade

OHHH!!!!

Tori

OH!

Tori

Who is that? (opens the door. It's a little girl.) Hello.

Will you help me? I'm lost!

Tori

You're lost?

Uh huh. Will you please call my mom and tell her where I am?

Tori

Uh, yeah sure. I will call your mom----

Jade

WAIT!

Tori

What?

Jade

It's a trick! So we'll use our phones!

It's not a trick!

Tori

WHO SENT YOU?

I have asthma!!!!!

Tori

WAS IT ANDRE?! ROBBIE?! BECK?! WHO?!

I just got lost! I took the wrong bus!

Jade

Well. You know what happens to little girls with asthma who take the wrong bus?

No.

Jade

They get a face full of door!

What does that mean?! (Jade slams the door in the girl's face)

Jade

Little grunch!

Tori

Can't you believe those guys try to trick us with a lost little girl, just to try to make us use our phones?

Jade

Jerks.

Tori

(in a shocked face) Unless she really was a lost little girl. (gasps) What if she was?

Jade

She'll learn a valuable lesson, you know: Always......take the right bus. (Cat, who was tied in a leash, manages to bite it off)

Tori

Cat!

Jade

She chewed through her leash!

Cat

I'M FREE! I'M FREE! (Jade and Tori chase Cat throughout the house)

Jade

Why are you sitting on Cat?

Tori

If I let her up, she might try to grab a real phone, and I don't know if I can stop her by myself.

Cat

I don't think you can, I'm pretty scrappy.

Jade

(picks up toilet paper) I ought to take this and kill you both with it!

Tori

How could you kill us with toilet paper?

Beck

Put it down! Put it down!

Jade

Well, think fast, because here he comes.

Cat

Quick, hide me!

Jade

(sarcastically) Where, in my bra?

Cat

Oh! (looks) No, that'll never work.

Beck

There's my girl, just blendin' in with the crowd.

Jade

I wanna know who that flour bomber is.

Andre

Ah, so you wore that to get his attention.

Jade

Yep, and when he tries to get me, I'm gonna grab him and wrestle him to the ground.

Beck

He might like that.

Andre

I'd like that. (Jade and Beck glare at him) I wouldn't like it.

(pointing to Jade) That's Tori Vega.

Tori

I'm Tori Vega.

Jade

I'm Tori Vega.

Cat

I'm Tori Vega.

Cat

(laughs) I'm not Tori Vega.

Jade

You insensitive witch!

Tori

You liar!

Jade

Look! Sinjin told me the winning team on Brain Squeezers splits $10,000, and I want my share of that money, Vega. I mean it! I want my slice!