Jade quotes from Victorious

This is so cool! We're blondes! Wooo! We're like princesses!

Jade

Can you be the princess that gets poisoned?

Why are you so excited to be blonde?

Cause guys love blonde girls, especially with blue eyes. You watch, tonight we're gonna get extra special treatment!

My brother gets special treatment. From special doctors. (pause) It's court ordered.

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That does it! Catarina Valentine, I will not sit here anymore and listen to you talk bad about yourself! You're adorable. Any guy would be lucky as cheese to go out with you.

Thanks, Robbie, that was really sweet, but you don't know how guys think.

(flabbergasted) Uh...how could...good day! (storms off)

Cheese is lucky?

(from offscreen) Yes!

Jade, tell Cat that when this boy sees her pretty red hair tonight, he's gonna like her even more.

Jade

Uh, can't do that.

Why not?

Jade

Cause I'm looking at Evan's Splash Face page, scrolling through pics of his ex-girlfriends: blonde, blonde, blonde - whoa, ugly blonde - uh, blonde, oh, and his blue eyed dog with blonde fur. I'm thinking Evan goes for blondes.

Oh, that doesn't mean anything. What are his likes and dislikes?

Jade

Uh, likes sushi, video games, girls with blonde hair and blue eyes.

Dislikes?

Jade

People who pretend to be something they're not.

Oh, no! Can I have your underwear again? (Tori hands Cat her underpants, and she cries into them)

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You see what blonde girls get? Free stuff! Cha-ching. Yeah yeah.

Jade

It's a magical night.

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Jade

What is this, a meeting?

That's what my brother calls it when he and his friends hang out together and eat meat.

What?

A meating! Get it? (giggles) He's a disaster.

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Those beams. Those laser beams! It's like a cage! A cage! Aaaah, I can't take it!!! Aaah, can't take it, aaah, can't take it! Can't take it!!!

Jade

(deadpan, to Andre) Hey, just checkin'. Can you take it?

No! Man, how long have we been sittin' here like this?

Beck

12 minutes.

I can't handle being trapped like this. We're like animals!

Oooh, can I be a hippapotamoose?

Beck

What?

It's French. For hippopotamus.

I gotta wazz.

Jade

So wazz!

Wazz where?

Jade

Just grab a bin.

Oh, ho, ho, Trina Vega does not wazz in bins.

At that movie you wazzed in a popcorn bucket.

A bucket is not a bin.

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(gasps) Hey!

Jade

What?

I haven't said anything for a while.

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Jade

[explosively] Somebody just get me A SANDWICH!

Kay-kay. [runs through the laser-beams and the alarm goes off]

AAll

No, Cat!

[screams] I'm sorry!

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C'mon, Rob, let's go back inside.

No.

Robbie, come on.

Jade

Yeah, we'll get you some ice for your, uh...injuries.

No! Just leave me here on the dirty ground where I belong.

Jade

(shrugs) K. (walks off)

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This Hambone battle is really scary.

Jade

We're about to watch two nerds compete by slapping themselves, I think we'll be okay.

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You didn't sound anything like me!

Jade

Tori believed it was you.

You didn't get my laugh right.

Jade

Yeah, I did. You go (imitates Cat's laugh) hahahahaha!

I don't laugh like that.

Jade

(pause) Puppies wearing sunglasses.

(laughs, then realizes she sounds just like Jade's imitation) Dang it.

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Jade

(on the phone to Tori, as Cat) Hi, Tori! Um, my brother locked me in the closet and I'm really bored and I just wanted to know what you guys were doing. (laughs)

(to herself) That's so disrespectful.

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(Jade and Cat are driving looking for Tori and Beck on their date)

Jade

Well?

Thank you for the ice cream cone.

Jade

I bought you the ice cream so you'd tell me where Tori and Beck are.

I don't know where they are!

(Jade opens Cat's window and throws her ice cream out)

I feel like you did that on purpose.

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Jade

God, I hate being stuck in traffic! We're gonna be late, and we're gonna miss Beck and Tori. ugh (blows horn)

HONK!!! (giggles) I honked. Just like your car. Oh, let's think about all the different kinds of honks there are. I like the one that's like "meep-meep." You know, like the bird does it in the cartoons.

Jade

The Roadrunner?

No, I don't like him. He's so mean to that dog.

Jade

That "dog" is a coyote.

Oh, my god! Was that racist???

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Jade

How do you know so much about animal hospitals cat?

My brother has a turtle with "special problems.

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You have no right to be mad at us because you and Beck broke up and we like each other, ok?!

Jade

I'm not.

[surprised] You're what?

Jade

I'm not mad.

Careful, it's a trick!

Jade

It's not a trick. I...I thought I was mad, but now that I'm here, what do I have to be mad about? We broke up, we're all friends, (gestures to Tori) kind of. I mean, any of us should be able to hang out with whoever we want.

Still thinkin' it's a trick.