Tori quotes from Victorious

Tori

(while trapped) Where is Cat?

Robbie

She's been gone for over 20 minutes.

Andre

The girl only weighs 90 pounds. How much pee can she hold?

Tori

[to Jade] Does it worry you that you never sweat?

Jade

No.

Tori

Well, what if, one day, all your sweat like, builds up inside, and you just explode?

Jade

...I would love that.

Trina

That's it, I'm calling her. What's Cat's number?

Jade

I already tried.

Beck

No signal.

Andre

Oh man, I told y'all not to get F-Mobile.

Tori

Well, where's your phone?

Andre

I left it in my pants, and my grandma washed it. All my contacts, gone.

Jade

Just open it!

Beck

Something's blocking the door. (Tori looks through the window)

Tori

Oh, man. Some idiot parked a huge RV right next to us.

Trina

Whatever. Let's just go out the back door.

Beck

There is no back door.

Trina

Well, that's stupid.

Andre

I'm getting very hot now.

Robbie

Would somebody open the window?

Jade

The windows are bulletproof. They don't open.

Oh, thanks a lot, Fat Biscuit.

Jade

What?

I meant the rapper from whom Beck's daddy purchased this vehicle.

Andre

I'm getting hotter.

Tori

Just push on the door.

Beck

I can't push a 7000-pound RV out of the way.

Tori

Then push harder! (they start to argue)

Andre

All right! Let's not bug out. (the argument stops)

Tori

Dude, no one knows we're trapped in this toaster oven.

Andre

Cat just went to the bathroom. She's gonna be back in a few minutes, then she can start becks truck and then pull us forward so we can get out.

Good point.

Jade

Okay. (they sit on the sofa to wait for Cat)

Jade

At least it oscillates.

Andre

Um. I'm still not happy.

Trina

I'm so hot.

Robbie

Where could Cat be?

Tori

I hope she's okay.

Andre

(the fan starts to slow down) Uh oh. Uh oh.

Tori

It's slowing down. (the fan stops and everyone groans)

Robbie

NOOOO!!!!!! (Robbie grabs the fan) Come on, fan. Work.

Beck

Robbie.

Robbie

Work!

Beck

Robbie.

Robbie

Spin!

Beck

Stop.

Robbie

No, we gotta make it work.

Beck

Robbie. Robbie. Stop it.

Robbie

No, I need it! I need it!

Beck

The batteries are dead. Robbie, stop.

Robbie

Oscillate! Spin!

Beck

(shakes Robbie) IT'S OVER! (Robbie gets up, yelling indistinctly and then buries his head in the pillow while screaming)

Andre

I'm feeling extremely hot now.

Trina

We got to get out of this stupid RV. (Beck looks at her) Yeah, offense.

Tori

We, at least, have to find something to drink.

Cat

(being sprayed by water guns) It's so cold! It's so cold!

Tori

It's so hot!

Tori

[notices Trina with her head down her bag] Trina? What are you doing?

Trina

What do you mean?

Tori

Why was your head in your bag?

Trina

It's c..cool in there.

Tori

I heard you swallow. Give me the bag.

Trina

No.

Tori

Give me the bag, Trina! Give me the bag!

Trina

NOOOOOOOO! [they wrestle with the bag, while everyone looks at them. Tori takes the bag and discovers a bottle of water in there; much to everyone's outrage]

Tori

Water. Trina has water.

Trina

Give it back!

Tori

You had water...THIS ENTIRE TIME...and you didn't share it with the rest of us?

Trina

If I shared it, I wouldn't have had as much for me.

Jade

(sweating) Okay. Okay. Something's dripping on me. Something's dripping on me.

Beck

(goes to Jade) Not-not-nothing's dripping.

Jade

Yes. Look on my arm. See? (holds her forehead) And on my forehead. What's going on? What's happening?!

Beck

You're sweating.

Jade

No! No, I'm not. I don't sweat. I'm not sweating.

Beck

Okay.

Jade

No! (Beck holds her arms)

Beck

Look at me!

Jade

No!

Beck

Look at me!

Jade

WHAT?

Beck

You're sweating. (Jade squeals and falls on the floor)

Jade

We've gotta get outta here.

Tori

Yeah. Thank you, Catherine Obvious.

Trina

What?

Tori

I said thank you, Catherine Obvious.

Robbie

(still crying) Did she say "Catherine" Obvious?

Andre

It's Captain Obvious.

Tori

What?

Jade

The expression is "Thank You, Captain Obvious".

Tori

It's not Catherine?

Trina

No.

Beck

Who would Catherine be?

Tori

Catherine could be a captain.

Robbie

Well, can we at least turn on the air conditioning?

Beck

The AC doesn't work unless the truck is running.

Trina

Then go start the truck.

Beck

I can't get out.

Trina

Ohhhhh, why did you invite me here?

Tori

We didn't.

Robbie

You invited yourself.

Jade

No one likes you!

Andre

I'm feeling very hot now.

Robbie

(looks at the thermometer) Guys, It's 102° in here. (everyone groans)

Tori

I need a cold drink.

Beck

(stands up) Me too.

Tori

Where are they?

Beck

In the truck.

Trina

What are we gonna do?

Tori

CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! [everybody joins Tori] CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT!

Trina

Hey Tori... hey!

Tori

What?

Trina

Is this chicken? (shows Tori an odd-looking food)

Tori

(sniffing) I think it might be a pineapple... or part of a thumb.

Trina

(groans) I can't eat airplane food too gross. Ugh! (dumps her airplane food essentials on Tori's tray table)

Tori

And why is this now on my tray table?

Trina

Cause I'm done with it.

Tori

(checks the time) Aww great, 3 and a 1/2 hours late.

Trina

Why do you care?

Tori

I'm supposed to meet Andre, Beck, and Cat to write a script for class that's due in the morning.

Trina

What teacher?

Tori

Gradstein.

Trina

Ooh, he's tough.

Tori

No chiz.

Trina

What is "chiz" anyway?

Tori

Andre thinks it's a German sausage. (Trina looks confused)

Tori

Excuse me?

Yes?

Tori

Does this plane have WiFi?

No but we do have wireless internet service.

Tori

That's what Wifi is.

Please don't give me attitude. (walks away)

Trina

(kicks Trina's seat) Did you just kick my seat again?

Why don't you ask your butt?

Trina

Look, if you don't knock it off, I'm gonna tell the flight attendant.

Ooh, you're a scary witch.

Trina

I wish I was a witch 'cause I would take my broomstick and I would-

Tori

Trina, sit. (Trina sits back down)

Trina

(reaches for a button) I need some more air.

Tori

You have a pimple under your arm.

Trina

Don't talk about it!