Tori quotes from Victorious

Now let's work on lyrics.

Tori

Noooo, I don't wanna write lyrics. Play more stuff on your thingy.

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Tori

The song was your present.

How much did it cost?

Tori

It didn't cost money.

(mockingly) Then it's not a present.

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Hey, Vega. Tori.

Tori

What?

Try this coffee and tell me what it tastes like. [Hands the cup to Tori]

Tori

Okay. [Drinks the coffee] Hazelnut?

I don't know, I found it in the garbage.

(Tori does a spit take)

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Are you gonna finish that coffee?

Tori

No, Jade found it in the -- You can have it.

Thanks. [Trina blows her a kiss and walks away.]

Tori

That's right. Drink the garbage coffee.

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Tori

Okay birthweek ideas for Trina. Andre you start us off.

Andre

Cheese.

Tori

Cheese?

Andre

Let's not do cheese.

Tori

Robbie?

Lotion, or various lotions.

Tori

Gross. Cat?

Well for my last birthday I thought my parents were going to get me a bike, but then I got home and my brother was cutting off his hair and my mom started yelling and...

Tori

Jade?

What?

Tori

What should I get Trina for her birthweek?

Talent.

Sinjin

Jade is so pretty.

3,2,1.

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Tori

[reading and holding a script] I don't know.

[reading and holding a script] Oh come on!

Tori

Why are you in love with me?

Because you're beautiful. Look at your face in the moonlight.

Tori

I can't.

You can.

Tori

No, a person can't look at their own face. It's impossible.

Then marry me and I'll buy you a thousand mirrors.

Tori

But that's so many!

My father is a billionaire. I can give you everything you ever wanted. And I'm very good looking.

Tori

Eh.

Think.

MMarty

And lights. Go.

[A spotlight shines on Beck with a script also.]

Tori

[turns to Beck] I don't know.

It's okay that you don't know.

Tori

But you deserve an answer.

I can wait. For you, I can wait a thousand years.

Tori

But that's so many!

[holding a book and texting]

I know I'm poor. I know that I don't have that much to offer but I do love you.

Tori

[turns away] Because I'm beautiful?

I don't love you because you're beautiful. [touches Tori's shoulder]

Tori

[turns around]

You're beautiful because I love you.

Tori

Whoa.

[rolls her eyes]

[Random disco music starts playing and everyone turns to Sinjin.]

What up with the disco?!

Sinjin

I'm sorry! I hit the wrong thing!

NO! 15 YEARS AGO, YOUR MOTHER GAVE BIRTH TO THE WRONG THING!!

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[Cat and Trina are in the car, with Tori calling them]

Oh, punch buggy blue! [punches Trina's arm]

Dude! [punches Cat's arm]

Ow! [other car honks]

[honks back] SHUT UP!

Tori

Listen to me. If you 2 morons aren't back here before the play starts and I have to go on stage looking like a zombie, I'm gonna punch both your buggies! Do you- !? [Marty shows up near her] I love you too, grandma, thanks for the quilt. [hangs up]

Quilt? [other car honks] SHUT UP!!! [honks back]

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[Cat puts her Snowbee on the table. The rest of the group looks at it for a bit then continues eating]

...Don't you guys wanna know what that is?

Is it a transporter from the future that can beam you to another table, because if it is, what button do I push?

That's so hurtful! [sits down next to Tori]

Tori

You know, you don't always have to be mean to everyone.

See? Tori's interested in my device!

Tori

I'm really not...

[puts his hand on Cat's shoulder] Aw, c'mon, little red, tell us about your doohicky.

Okay. It's called...the Snowbee! Watch. [presses a button, causing fake snow to fly all over the gang and their food] Wheee! [puts her hands up. Jade presses a button to shut it off] It makes pretend snow!

I see that.

It's all over my tostada.

Tori

And my pizza.

Well, don't eat it!

Why?

Because, it says the fake snow is toxic and can cause abdominal bleeding.

[Everyone pushes their lunches in the middle of the table]

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(Jade, Beck, Tori and Andre have just finished watching Robberazzi)

Tori

He's a dead man!

Beck and I aren't splitting up!

Well...

Dude!

Kidding!

I use an appropriate amount of ketchup!

Tori

Let's go face this right now! (they all walk out, leaving Cat with her catalog) Cat, are you coming?

Oh, my god! Underwear that floats!

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Tori

Oh, and uh, don't eat the snow unless you wanna bleed internally. [pats him on the back]

Okay... [she walks off] She's so cute...

Girl like that wants a man, not a boy.

I'll get there!

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[at the beginning of the episode]

Tori

Oh, my God. [she fans herself with her hand] I am so...hot.

Ain't that the truth.

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Tori

[feels Jade’s arm] You're not sweaty?

Sweating is gross, so I don't do it.

Tori

Everyone sweats.

BABeck and Andre

Not Jade.

Jade never sweats.

Tori

So what are you? Like, cold blooded?

Jade? Cold blooded? What a surprise.

BABeck and Andre

[laugh]

[grabs a tube of sunscreen and squirts Rex in the face]

Ah! That witch got sunscreen in my eyes. Help me Rob.

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Man, how long's this heat wave gonna last?

Tori

They say until Tuesday.

Why would they say that?

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Tori

Hey...hey, Sinjin. He's face down in the kiddie pool.

...Yep.

(checks his phone) It's cool; he's still got two minutes left. (Tori and Robbie hurry over to the kiddie pool)

Tori

(turns Sinjinn over) Are you okay? (he gargles)

Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth? (Sinjin gargles again)

Tori

...Nah, he's alright. (she flees)

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(Tori and the gang are preparing their beach stuff)

Andre

Alright. It's starting to get hot in here.

Tori

Yeah. Let's go.

Let's hit that beach!

This way, people. (Beck pushes the door, but it won't open)

What's wrong?

I don't know. The door won't open. (Beck pushes the door again, but it won't open. The scene cuts outside. It turns out that another giant RV is parked right next to theirs.)