Tori quotes from Victorious

Sikowitz

Tori, you're back. You ever thought about coming in through the window?

Tori

No.

Sikowitz

Think about it.

Trina

See, it's just a high school.

Tori

Uh, this is not just a high school. These kids are all artsy and creative and talented and I'm just... normal.

Trina

It's okay, there's nothing wrong with being average. Anyway, you're not alone. I got your back.

Tori

Okay, though...

Trina! Eric Paulson got his hair straightened!

Trina

Shut up! Oh my god!

Tori

I'm alone!

André

Hey, whatcha doin?

Tori

Calling my mom to tell her I want to go back to my old school.

André

Why?

Tori

Cause I don't like having black coffee in my hair!

André

Then I'll get you some cream and sugar. Everything'll be chill.

Cat

So let's hear your horn!

André

Yeah, play that funky music, white girl!

Tori

You know I'm half Latina.

André

Then hit it, muchacha!

Tori

Oh, great, so she gets an A- and I get a broken eye and a black nose

Andre

(correcting her) I think you meant--

Tori

I know what I meant.

Cat

My dog has a black nose. It's so cute, like a baby meatball!

Tori

Meatballs are brown.

Cat

YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME! [angrily takes her drink and leaves the table]

Jade

[in a flirty tone] Hey, partner. I can't wait for our fight... scene...

Tori

Gulp.

Jade

[as a robber] Gimme your money!

Tori

[as an elderly grandmother] WHAT?!

Jade

I ain't playing, gimme your money and your watch!

Tori

Well wouldn't you rather have this? [Tori swings her cane above Jade]

Jade

[after falling to the floor] OW!.....BUTTERNUT! BUTTERNUT!

Cat

She's bleeding!

Are you okay?

Jade

[covering her left eye with her hand] NO! Tori hit me in the face FOR REAL!

Tori

[defending herself] No, I didn't!

Jade

Tell that to my bloody eye! OW!

Is that mac and cheese?

Tori

Who cares?!

[Muttering] Just wanted to know if it was mac and cheese...

Jade

[comes in and looks at Tori. The two stare at each other for a few seconds] ...I don't get it.

Tori

What?

Jade

I know Andre told you that I faked everything. The blood, the black eye- what is that, mac and cheese?

Looks like it, right?

Cat

Why'd you hit Jade in the face with a cane?

Tori

I didn't!

Cat

Ok, I believe you! Don't hit me!

Tori

Well, it looked like he was hurting you.

Jade

[suspiciously] Why do you care?

Tori

Because I figured he already suffers enough pain dating you

Jade

[retaliating] You wanna see pain?

Beck

Hey! Why don't we go sit over there? [Both Beck and Jade walk away]

Cat

Hey, Tori!

Tori

Yeah, hey, hi.

Cat

Whatcha doin'?

Tori

Things.

(to Tori) Hey, waddup, girl? You got a numb tongue?

Robbie

(to Rex) Alright, that's a time out, mister.

No, no time out. Don't you put me in this backpack. I'm serious, Rob.

Andre

(enters) Hey, what goes on?

Robbie

We're going to get some iced coffee.

Andre

(to Robbie) I thought caffeine makes you vibrate.

Robbie

Sometimes it's nice.

Tori

Oh, how about she's the whole reason why I got into Hollywood Arts?

André

Now you're digging.

Tori

Yay, I'm diggy.

Tori

I wrote a song for you. I rehearsed it. With people! I performed it for you.

Trina

... Yeah, I think you were a little flat on that last chorus. [Tori grabs her by her shirt] Oh! Can't hit your sister during her birthweek.

André

You're gonna have to get her another present.

Tori

I know that.

André

Got a cheese guy...

Tori

I'm NOT giving her cheese. Maybe I should just give up and accept the fact that I'm not gonna find anything good and Trina's gonna hate me for the next six months.

André

I can't believe you hit me in the head.

Tori

I can't believe you're not deep enough to appreciate a gift that totally came from my heart.

Trina

A song is not a gift.

Tori

It IS too.

Trina

Can I wear a song? No. Can I eat a song? No. Can I flaunt a song and make people jealous? No, you failed.