Unicorns? Really? Well, we'll definitely be needing some mood music. You know, techno has a bad reputation, but I think it's undeserved. Groan if you disagree. Good. We're on the same page. It's unfortunate that when you wake up, all you'll know is that your hair is gone...because it's gonna be good. I'd wager your best ever. And it's a me thing, I'm sorry to say. I...have no patience. I mean, if I'd met you in a bar or at a party, I would have had you back here and on your back in an hour. But that's an hour of my life I would have never had back, an hour of listening to you talk about unicorns and your high-school boyfriend and how you hate the taste of beer. I'm just taking what you would have happily given. I mean, that's hardly a crime.
S3Spit & Eggs
S3Show Me the Monkey
[Mac arrives with two people in white lab coats.]
Mac! And the people coming to take me away.
[The trio mentions the missing monkey and lab rats.]
Monkey?
As in "touch my".
[Talking about relationships]
Like why bother with something that's not good, cause if it's not good -
It's bad. Exactly. But these guys were like, 'as long as she's got a pair of-' [makes a motion for breasts and Veronica gives him a look] You know, it was indelicate.
What's indelicate about shoes?
[laughs] But I figure, you know I know what I like. Why waste my time?
Like why bother with something that's not good, just because it's something?
Especially when you know the difference. Which not many people do. I mean, do you?
I - I think I do.
You see I think it's like 90% of life, just knowing the difference.
S3Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves
Always looking for a crime where there isn't one. Think you need a new hobby, Keith.
Oh, I don't know. I find solving an investigation very relaxing. You should give it a try some time.
Brian and Fred, as demented as this sounds, thought you'd have more confidence with girls if you... lost your virginity.
I'm gonna go kill my friends now, so, if you could just leave me a bill.
Can you still find her?
Um... yes. But she'll still be a prostitute.
I'm not stupid, Veronica, okay? We had something, I know it. There are some things you can't fake.
And there are some things women are universally known for faking, and this girl is a professional.
When I dropped her off at the airport, she had tears in her eyes.
Are you sure she wasn't thinking of the cab fare back?
[Veronica does an online search for Max's hooker based on his nerdy friends' description.]
It's like a Zagat guide for hookers. How did people find sex before there was an Internet?
From 18,000 down to two. Your attention to detail has served us well, young Jedis.
I just want to get to a place with you where we can be really... intimate.
That's what the female praying mantis says before she bites the male's head off.
S3There's Got to Be a Morning After Pill
Jeans, bold choice. Hope the maitre'd is fashion forward.
Did you and Madison have sex over winter break?
[Logan looks at Veronica and doesn't respond]
I asked you point blank--
And I lied. Point blank. It wasn't information that you had a right to know. I knew you wouldn't be able to deal with the Madison thing.
Which 'thing' are you talking about? The 'she roofied me thing' or the thing 'when I stumbled to my car in the morning wondering where my virginity was and she had written slut on my windshield'? Was that what you thought I couldn't deal with? I am so genuinely sick right now. If I could've eaten anything today I'd be throwing up all over your floor.
We were broken up at the time.
You know how I feel about her! There is no way that at some point while it was happening you weren't thinking about how much I'd hate you being with her.
It wasn't like that.
No? Do you want another variation cause I have a million sickening scenarios running on a loop right now.
I wasn't trying to hurt you.
Oh no. Really? Imagine if you tried.
What do you want me to do? What can I do?
Make it not true. Get it out of my head and never let me think about it again. Cause unless you can do that, this is something I'm never getting past.
Try to be forgiving. It's the only way. Anger will tear you down. It'll make you less of the person that you want to be. And it will tear apart your soul. The Bible teaches us that he who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit can capture a city. He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.
I can't believe these people. They sit up in a building with their telephoto lens and take pictures of people in their most private, personal moments. That's disgusting.
Ah, honey, that's how we pay the rent.
S3Postgame Mortem
"If you've eaten any of this breakfast, you now owe me. Invoices have to go out today. See you at the office."
And I always fall for it.
So, in other news, I met this girl a couple weeks ago at a party. Hot! Like, volcanic hot. Like, I might have to use an oven mitt to feel her up. Blink if you understand. She's coming here tonight, and she's bringing her sister, who, I might add, she described as practically her twin. By the way, I did a little research on pathetic sad sackery, and "hot sister" is the recommended treatment.
No, thanks.
You sure? We're thinking about going to the swim team's beach blanket blow-out. You can wear your t-shirt that says, "I'd rather be home crying."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Veronica Mars pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.