“Postgame Mortem” quotes from Veronica Mars

"If you've eaten any of this breakfast, you now owe me. Invoices have to go out today. See you at the office."

Veronica

And I always fall for it.

Dick

So, in other news, I met this girl a couple weeks ago at a party. Hot! Like, volcanic hot. Like, I might have to use an oven mitt to feel her up. Blink if you understand. She's coming here tonight, and she's bringing her sister, who, I might add, she described as practically her twin. By the way, I did a little research on pathetic sad sackery, and "hot sister" is the recommended treatment.

Logan

No, thanks.

Dick

You sure? We're thinking about going to the swim team's beach blanket blow-out. You can wear your t-shirt that says, "I'd rather be home crying."

Dick

Dude, you're not helping.

Logan

I'm aware of that.

Dick

I live here, too, you know. This is my home. People walk in, they don't think, "this little clean area is Dick's, and the hidden bottles of urine are Logan's." They think "Silence of the Lambs basement," and their desire to get naked near me takes a nose dive. You're lucky you're rich. This would be completely disgusting.

Veronica

Hey, Weevil, I'm trying to have a word with whoever's running the PCHers these days, and I was hoping you might be able to hook me up.

Weevil

Sure thing. Let me just call my parole officer and give him a heads-up I'll be cavorting with known criminals.

Weevil

I don't know what to say. Gang kids are usually quite punctual.

Veronica

It's all right. Part of me actually hopes they don't show.

Weevil

Veronica Mars, scared of a few bikers? Not even a quarter college-educated and already you're square as—

Veronica

It's not the bikers, per se. It's more what they represent.

Weevil

I rest my case.

Veronica

If they show, they probably didn't do it, which would look not so good for Josh. If they don't show, there's a good chance they did it.

Weevil

Maybe they're here to confess.