TV show quotes
Dude, you're not helping.
I'm aware of that.
I live here, too, you know. This is my home. People walk in, they don't think, "this little clean area is Dick's, and the hidden bottles of urine are Logan's." They think "Silence of the Lambs basement," and their desire to get naked near me takes a nose dive. You're lucky you're rich. This would be completely disgusting.
Hey, Weevil, I'm trying to have a word with whoever's running the PCHers these days, and I was hoping you might be able to hook me up.
Sure thing. Let me just call my parole officer and give him a heads-up I'll be cavorting with known criminals.
I don't know what to say. Gang kids are usually quite punctual.
It's all right. Part of me actually hopes they don't show.
Veronica Mars, scared of a few bikers? Not even a quarter college-educated and already you're square as—
It's not the bikers, per se. It's more what they represent.
I rest my case.
If they show, they probably didn't do it, which would look not so good for Josh. If they don't show, there's a good chance they did it.
Maybe they're here to confess.
I need to see the sheriff.
I don't know, Keith. He looks kind of busy.
Well, that's something I gotta see.
Actually, that's just why I'm in jail: To avoid Valentines Day.
Hey. Uh, Veronica asked me to bring you this.
Performing a favor from a jail cell? The girl has serious friendship skills.
Who wants out of jail?
I do! I do!
I know you from somewhere.
Yeah, you told me to go see the Wizard and ask him for some guts.
Well, did you?
Yeah. [smirks] He said to let you know that you're the only sheriff in America that he considers a true Friend of Dorothy.
Honey...why is there a pistol in the freezer?
Because there's this guy, see, and I want to put him on ice. Because revenge is a dish best served cold. Because I want to commit murder in the 28th degree?
Stop.
[Deputy Sachs checks Sheriff Lamb, who lies bleeding from a beating by a fugitive.]
I... smell... bread.
[Veronica catches Tim breaking into Mars Investigations.]
What the hell are you doing?
I...uh...I'm...
Formulating a lie, realizing it's futile, begrudgingly telling the truth?
I'm trying to help Landry, okay? He gave your father the bug that someone planted in his phone. I'm hoping it will lead to Mindy.
How is it going to lead to Mindy?
I don't know. Serial numbers?
They don't have serial numbers.
Well, I didn't know. There's got to be a way. How would you do it?
[annoyed] Hmmm...well, first, I'd break into someone's office, act really weasly, and then ask their advice.
[In the cafeteria, Veronica looks bemused as Wallace reports on Logan and Parker's lunchtime tête-à-tête.]
What?
I'm just trying to figure out which Gilmore girl you are.
If you're wondering where I am, I'm hanging out outside a convenience store, eating corn nuts and watching strippers.
Are you doing drugs?
No.
Good.
[Veronica finds Tim checking a computer with gloved hands.]
Nice gloves. You heading to the parlor to strangle Colonel Mustard after this?
We're breaking and entering. I can't leave prints.
Use your sleeve! It's less creepy.
Mars!
We're on a last name basis now? We've skipped right over androgynous nicknames.
I tried calling you "Chuckles", but it didn't stick.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Veronica Mars pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
