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Veronica Mars quotes

429 quotes · page 21 of 29

Veronica Mars
All S1 S2 S3 S4

S2Happy Go Lucky

This is pointless.

[sighs] Okay, look, so you know quadratic equations, right?

Do I look like someone who knows quadratic equations, huh?

I'm just trying to see what you already know.

Zero! You want your car fixed? Teach me.

Okay, okay. All right, look, so this equation right here, what do you think we should do first?

Am I a five-year-old girl, huh? Lay it out for me, dawg, c'mon! Make me understand.

Okay, okay! Okay, so let's say that you and your buddy wanna buy a 12-pack of a certain item, say, like, uh, spark plugs for "X" dollars, and you wanna find out how many of another item, like, um, I dunno, like oil, that you can get for the same amount. Except oil is "Y" times as much -

If this is your idea of terms I'll understand, I'm going to kill you. Or myself. It's a toss-up. Screw it, man. I'll just cheat.

No, look... but what about my car?

You know power buffers, right? Well, let's say your door panel is a summer home, right, and you need to clear out the south lawn to make a tennis court, so -

[from next table over] F-O-I-L. That's all it is. First, Outside, Inside, Last. All algebra - it's just the formula.

Now can you teach me that?

You'll still fix his car?

That's the deal.

Okay, say you and your buddy buy a 12-pack of spark plugs... [Weevil glares] I'm just kidding.

[Mac is marking Weevil's work.]

Okay, you put another "X" on that paper, and we're gonna have a problem.

I'd put little smiley faces, but I don't know if that's gonna sell "wrong."

I told you you went too fast on balancing equations.

I didn't go too fast!

You plowed right through! I didn't even understand what you were talking about.

No surprise there.

What, you're saying you're smarter than me?

No, I wasn't. Here's what that would've sounded like: "I'm smarter than you." Hear the difference?

You don't really believe that.

Then why did I get it tattooed on my hip?

If this what you need to do to feel better about yourself...

[to Weevil] If I get you an A, will you shiv him?

Hey, I got an idea. How about you two geniuses go work out your aggression in some coat room and then come back here and teach me algebra, huh?

(Mac and Beaver grin at each other)

S2Not Pictured

[voiceover] So this is how it is. The innocent suffer, the guilty go free, and truth and fiction are pretty much interchangeable. ...There is neither a Santa Claus, nor an Easter Bunny, and there no angels watching over us. Things just happen for no reason, and nothing makes any sense.

I'm on a flight to Reno leaving an hour after graduation.

I don't know if I like the idea of you running around a place full of armed, drunk businessmen.

That's why I rarely go to Texas.

I can't decide if my life is going to be easier or more difficult with you gone. Anything I should know in case I get another one like you someday?

Don't keep all your passwords taped on the bottom of your stapler. And stay cool, Mr. C.

Where's your brother?

I think he took Ghost World up to his room. They're probably up there makin' love. Or playing Dungeons and Dragons. Or both, at the same time. They're both, like, 12th-level dorks. Just sayin'.

[after blowing up the plane] I know this might be a [snickers] bad time to ask for a favor... How would you feel, now that you have nothing left to live for, about just rolling yourself off? It's just, I really don't want your DNA all over my shirt.

S3Welcome Wagon

[imitating Clint Eastwood] You a bounty hunter, boy?

I really shouldn't have pushed for the Clint Eastwood marathon. Now I've ruined you. I didn't think it was possible to make you more butch. Stupid, stupid Logan. Well, wanna feel like a man, walk me to class?

[normal voice] Carry your books?

Why not? [they start walking to class] Guess who I saw on campus today?

Some girl going wild? As I understand it, it happens all the time in college. I'm on the verge of it right now.

No, Dick, my BFF.

I thought he was crashing with his dad in the Caymans.

Well, he's back.

Did you guys talk?

Yeah, but it was brief - shouted his name, flipped me off: the bonds of friendship.

Vinnie. What brings you to the good part of the wrong side of the tracks?

Dollar signs, mi amigo. The almighty buck. I got a case that requires a little double-detective duty. Lucky Pierre owns a jewelry store and suspects that he's got an embezzler. What do you say, huh? [holds out fist] Wonder Twin powers, activate.

Daaad, come here.

[Keith joins Veronica in her room.]

You beckoned?

Yeah, you'll never believe it, a maid from our hotel in New York found the flash card with our vacation pictures on it. Look.

HOT DOG!

[Veronica stares at Keith, confused.]

Hot Dog?

Its an expression of excitement and enthusiasm.

Took this side. Hope that's cool.

Yeah, no sweat. I rarely wear clothes indoors. Hope that's cool.

[chuckles, then stops abruptly] That's not cool at all.

If college is a boy buffet, she's got two full plates and a purse full of boys wrapped in napkins.

...

Look at her...she's like boynip.

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