TV show quotes
We saw you get ripped off.
You're twelve. What were you doing up at Hearst?
Checking out the college girls laying out. Some of them go topless.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up right there, son. Tell us exactly where this sunbathing goes on.
South quad, where that statue is.
What are you saying you saw?
Is it the Randolph Hearst statue, or the amorphous blobby thing?
[sighs] I have "There's Got to Be a Morning After" stuck in my head. If I start singing, kill me.
[reading invitation] "Tasteful" floral dresses? All my florals are trampy. Seriously, I don't have a thing with a flower that's not in the tube top or hot pant family.
[voiceover] I guess "dress to impress" meant "dress like your favorite Pussycat Doll."
[voiceover] The '70s had the Hustle. The '80s, the moonwalk. We have the faux-lesbian dance.
[voiceover] The best way to keep a guy at least ten feet away? Dry heave. Vomit is the new mace.
'Sup?
I'm not acknowledging that.
[about two girls] New friends?
Yeah, from weightlifting class.
Right! The only class you never miss. So, what - you guys, like, spot each other doing squat thrusts and stuff?
And have group sex in the showers. [Veronica scoffs] What is this, jealous?
Oh, jealous would involve piano wire.
Oh. So what was that?
That was mild annoyance at the fact that two gym buddies invite you to a party and you're there already, but whenever I want to do something interesting, you're busy.
You mean "interesting" like some fossil wheezing through a novel?
First, Martin Amis isn't a fossil, and second, yes, it's college. We're supposed to expand our horizons past video games and binge drinking.
My horizons go slightly beyond that.
Great. So, how about tonight we check out the art-major group show?
I'm busy? [she sighs] No, really, I have a class till ten, but if you come by afterwards, we could write on ourselves. Get real, uh... political.
That's what a girl wants to hear: "Darling, do all the weird crap you like, just don't be late for the booty call."
[to boss] Guess I'll wash some spoiled bitch's graduation gift from daddy, huh?
I'm not spoiled, and uh, technically, it wasn't for graduation.
What about the bitch part?
That depends on who you ask. How are you, Weevil? I haven't seen you...
Since that awkward arrested-for-murder incident? Yeah! I remember.
You plea bargained down to assault?
And now I'm working at the car wash. Which, as it turns out, is not as fun as the song might sound.
Veronica Mars - modern college girl on the go.
Dick Casablancas - Neolithic college boy on the sauce.
I bet you'd be pretty psyched if I found someone who could help.
My level of psyched would depend on the someone.
Eli Navarro. Remember?
You mean Weevil? Oh, Veronica, please.
Dad, I'm serious.
Oh, I don't know, all those times I arrested him, he never struck me as great secretary material. Didn't he get busted for murder?
Assault.
See, so he's not even a very good murderer.
While I appreciate the interest, Big Brother, I hope -
Wow, a 1984 reference. Did you read that in weightlifting?
You know, your dad was half right. You have a thing for bad boys, but you don't want to reform them. You just get off on judging them.
Which reminds me: can I borrow your copy of 101 Brooding Comments?
I only have the Cliff Notes. Look, I've got to run, so to save you the trouble, I'm surfing in Mexico with Dick and Mercer this weekend. I'll fax you the coordinates so you don't incur any more cell-tracking charges, and I'll keep a journal of my bad thoughts in case you want to stick my face in a cage of rats when we get back. Sorry, 1984 is the only book I read.
Is this the help desk? 'Cause I need a little help.
Let me guess: you have this pathologically suspicious girlfriend and you hope maybe there's a guidebook?
No, it's more like, uh... what's beyond pathological?
This is a bad idea.
No, it's not.
You only think it's not because you came up with it.
Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me + idea = good.
You were expecting Sidney Poitier?
No jokes. No innuendos, no quips. Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers.
Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it. No calling you Bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
Go home.
Veronica. Don't worry. I wont say anything bad.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Veronica Mars pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
