Wallace Fennel quotes from Veronica Mars

Keith

Hello, Stosh. What do you say we head out, have a few beers?

Piz

That's one of those trick questions, isn't it?

Keith

I got some new IDs for you. Wallace. [hands Wallace and Piz their new IDs]

Piz

This picture is Jon Bon Jovi.

Keith

Yes. It is.

Wallace

Biggie Smalls? We don't really all look alike, Mr. Mars.

Keith

I know that, Wallace. Now, let's go out and get our drink on.

Veronica

So...Piz didn't say anything about the whole party...thing?

Wallace

Like how you two made out in the hall and then you took off? Why? Is he calling you all the time?

Veronica

He called once. The day after. But...how would you interpret his mood?

Wallace

You want me to have this talk? Am I a twelve year old girl?

Veronica

No...but you're drinking Fresca and watching Joan Crawford movies.

Wallace

So, are you surviving?

Veronica

Surviving what?

Wallace

Helping Piz. You know, his puppy dog eyes on you all the time.

Veronica

It's weird. Like you said, normal Piz. Like nothing ever happened.

Wallace

[amused] Which bothers you, because making out with you is supposed to be some life-changing experience.

Veronica

I don't know. I just... Why are we talking about this?

Wallace

I thought you liked these kind of conversations.

Veronica

No.

Wallace

I was hoping we could follow it up with a cuteness countdown of the Baldwin brothers.

Veronica

I hope we're still friends after I Taser you.

Veronica

Tell your roommate I came by hoping to kill time between classes getting to second base with someone, and then left unsatisfied.

Wallace

He's a good guy, Veronica. Try not to rip out his heart.

Piz

So, what's the protocol for a plane christening? I mean, does someone get to, like, smash the, uh, Sea Monkey with a miniature bottle of champagne?

Wallace

The protocol? Pray to whatever god you believe in she flies. Otherwise, my ass is grass.

Veronica

Orville Wright's exact words, if I recall.

Piz

I'm so nervous. This is totally knotting up my inner nerd.

Mac

Wait, you have an inner one?