Mike McLintock quotes from Veep

Oh, God. I made Andrew can her slutty can. Then we just hired the least fuckable press secretary we could find.

Mike

Huh, that's actually right when I started working with you.

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Mike

I had an aunt who transitioned twice. She was trapped inside of a man, and then that man was trapped inside of another woman.

Richard

Oh, like a turducken.

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Leon West has Mike's diary.

What?!

Mike

Amy, you promised!

Mike, what have you and your 47 tangled chromosomes done?

Mike

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, ma'am. I should have gotten a diary with a little lock on it, but I didn't want to lock myself out.

How long have you known about this?

Since Alabama, but, to be fair, we thought we were on top of it.

Mike

We did, ma'am.

Oh really? Well, now it's on top of you, it's knocked your teeth out, and it's making sweet love to your face!

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Ma'am, I'm so sorry you lost your library. You know, last night, I dreamt that I removed Leon West's balls with an ice cream scoop, and I think I actually came.

Is everything always ice cream with you?

Just say the word, ma'am, and I will...

Amy, Amy. I leaked it to Leon.

Why? Why would you Kurt Cobain your own library?

Because, girlie, only former presidents have libraries. And I'm running for president.

[Selina opens the door to reveal her entire old team assembled in the living room]

You're... you're running again?!

Mike

The band is getting back together again!

Who cc'd Mike?

Mike

[laughing] I get it, I'm Ringo.

Dan

We need champagne!

Ben

No, Amy's Ringo. You're Mark David Chapman's bullet.

How is this even possible?

Tibet! Tibet! It's all Tibet! We are gonna ride that Dalai Lama like Mrs. Lama on book club night.

And what about Montez?

Ben

She's a Mexican who stole your job.

She did, in fact, steal my job.

Ben

Her numbers are under agua.

I can't believe this.

We're back! [to Amy] I do need to talk to you about your role. And, Mike, I need to talk to you about your role, too.

Mike

[oblivious] Sweet.

To Team Meyer.

AAll

Team Meyer!