Selina Meyer quotes from Veep

Selina

[regarding Quincy Carter] Oh my God, I cannot stand that affected butt-plug. If I could lift the fuckin' crate I'd beat him to death with it.

Selina

Well, there's just... there's just no way out of this. I mean, you know, not for a sitting Vice President... who's lost Iowa and New Hampshire. You know what V.P. stands for? It stands for "victory perma-fucked." I don't deserve this. You know? Goddammit. I don't, but you do. Because you are all losers! Every motherfuckin' one of you! [pointing to Amy and Gary] Loser! Loser!

Selina

I am the most powerful person in the world. Is that correct? [All agree] Any fuck-up from now on is not just a fuck-up, it's my legacy. Got it?! No fuck-ups!

Selina

This speech was supposed to perfectly define my presidency. [...] Whole cities of children were gonna be saved from poverty. Instead now, that money is going to fund obsolete, metal... giant... dildos!

Selina

I think I just sneezed up part of my pancreas.

Selina

I have to go. I have to call the President of Africa, so—I mean South Africa, specifically.

Selina

[about Tom James] That fucking guy, with his fucking charm, and his fucking son, in his fucking wheelchair, with his spine all fucked up!

Selina

Honey, it's Yemen. Life gives you Yemen, you got to make Yemen-ade.

Selina

Well, maybe I'll get assassinated.

Selina

You're gonna cancel this recount like Anne Frank's bat mitzvah.

Selina

We need to work together to better engage with North Korea, because the North Koreans are people like us... except without any food.

Selina

Please God, deliver Jonah to Congress, and then give him any kind of cancer, I don't care.

Selina

Jonah, you're already dead. What you do now, you do for your family.

Selina

General George Washington could come out of his grave and I would rather eat his zombified, wooden asshole twice a day than be his Vice fucking, fucking anything.

Selina

Can you believe this ? The anni-fuckin'-sary of the historic House vote? I feel like we're celebrating my frat house gang-rape, except I didn't even get a candlelight vigil.