Berg quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Pete

The real tragedy about all this is that tomorrow is the first day of Katie’s life without me.

Berg

Wasn’t that day four years ago after she dumped you?

Ashley

You make me feel, you make me feel…

Berg

Like dancing?

Berg

Ashley! Ashley!

Will you shut up?

Berg

Do you mind? This is a private conversation.

Berg

She is going to feel so bad...we must never let her forget this.

Pete

(chuckling) We never will.

Berg

She must never find out what happened that day.

Pete

And she never will.

That reminds me, I'd better get out of these clothes before the mud dries and they have to hose me off.

Berg

(laughing) There are so many wonderful things about THAT sentence.

Johnny

Anyway, I guess you and Berg didn't really hit it off.

Actually, Berg and I had a terrific time.

Berg

(confused) We did? (Shaun kisses Berg), Hey look at that, we did.

Berg

You see? This woman is shameless -- shameless, wearing sexy dresses and making me special food.

Pete

You're right. You're right. If she tries to make Johnny any more jealous, you might wind up sleeping with her.

Berg

Boston Bait and Tackle, since 1943. We'll be safe here, I mean, imagine how many storms this place must have weathered.

Read the little print

Berg

Re-built in 1994

Ashley

I hate you!

Berg

I despise you!

Ashley

I loathe you!

Berg

I'can get us a room!

Ashley

I can drive!

Berg

You just ruined my one chance at a healthy relationship!

Ashley

I'm so sorry! I just broke up your '35 second' relationship!

Come on, we're all adults here.

Berg

No, you're pretty much the only one.

Berg

How could you two do this to someone so wonderful?!

Pete

I know, I feel terrible about Johnny…

Berg

I’m not talking about Johnny I’m talking about me!

Ashley

Guys, guys, Sharon and Johnny are coming.

Berg

Damn! Stall!

Ashley

Brilliant! Because I was just going to warn you and then hurry them in. (Ashley runs out)

Pete

She's like a ray of sunshine. No, strike that. She's more like a death ray.

Pete

She’s in love with Johnny.

Berg

Who says she can’t be in love with you too?

Pete

You!