The West Wing · Season 4
At my last job, the background check wasn't nearly as extensive...
You have a button on your phone, a crash button.
Hmm?
You have a crash button which will bring the Secret Service in instantly and turn your office into a live microphone which will be broadcast all over the building. It's the button you push if someone's trying to take the Oval Office. This isn't your last job.
...'Joy cometh in the morning,' scripture tells us. I hope so. I don't know if life would be worth living if it didn't. And I don't yet know who set off the bomb at Kennison State. I don't know if it's one person or ten, and I don't know what they want. All I know for sure, all I know for certain, is that they weren't born wanting to do this. There's evil in the world, there'll always be, and we can't do anything about that. But there's violence in our schools, too much mayhem in our culture, and we can do something about that. There's not enough character, discipline, and depth in our classrooms; there aren't enough teachers in our classrooms. There isn't nearly enough, not nearly enough, not nearly enough money in our classrooms, and we can do something about that. We're not doing nearly enough, not nearly enough to teach our children well, and we can do better, and we must do better, and we will do better, and we will start this moment today! They weren't born wanting to do this.
All I meant by 'cloak and dagger' is that I'm not cut out for the security meetings and the secret this and the back channel ambassadors. It's like you're in the Mafia.
Well, it may be like I'm in the Mafia, but I'm not. I work for the good guys.
It was one sentence. The problem was that you were never at the other end of the phone.
That's an entirely different kettle of beans and we can have that discussion, but history has shown if you just wait and tell it to a divorce lawyer you can have half of my stuff.
I don't want your stuff.
You don't know; some of it's good stuff.
We're here!
You know, everybody's really over that now.
Admiral Scott! Your expedition's returned!
Are they over it?
Yeah.
Barnum, Bailey, and their sister Sue!
They're almost over it.
[to Sam] Would you tell him he doesn't have to worry about the district court?
I told him. [to Bruno] They're not going to rule for Sullivan.
He's worried 'cause it's Wengland.
He's not that crazy.
I'll tell you, I'm not that comfortable with a federal judge being even a little bit crazy.
We run the risk of alienating...
Heroin addicts?
Liberals.
Whatever.
Mike, pick yourself out a daughter. My oldest is married, but I can have it annulled. The Pope said he'd do it, I swear to God.
That's very friendly of you, sir. Thank you.
It's not even the number of debates, as much as the format. Two-minute response followed by a one-minute reply. That's not a debate. That's not a debate! It's a joint press conference.
What is really the difference between one debate and two debates?
"What's the diff–"! It's a whole other debate! It's a second debate! It's 100% more debate!
Can you make a run to the staff secretary's office? Ella's not there, but someone should be. Make sure you just take what needs to be signed today. They're gonna try to give you a whole stack, and right there's where you become a man.
Should I use sex as a tactic?
If you need to. Hell, even if you just want to.
When we mention that we want five debates, say what they are. One on the economy, one on foreign policy, with another on global threats and national security, one on the environment, and one on strengthening family life, which would include health care, education, and retirement. I also think there should be one on parts of speech and sentence structure, and one on fractions.
Is there any chance I'm going to get an opportunity to speak in this conversation, or are you just writing out loud?
I didn't even know you were in the room.
Toby, I'm absolutely terrified we're going to lose the expectations game. I can't believe how many times I get asked what would be a win in the debates. At this point I feel like if - and only if - Ritchie accidentally lights his podium on fire does the President have a fighting chance.
I disagree.
Disagree all you want, but I'm right.
These two men are going to be side by side on the stage, answering questions. That's the ball game.
If the whole thing is, he can't tie his shoelaces and it turns out he can, then that is the ball game.
And I believe he'll have to do more than tie his shoelaces.
Not much more.
[to Leo] Honey, if we're going to have this fight, can we not do it in front of the Joint Chiefs? It just scares the hell out of them.
A couple of things. I need you to look at a couple of answers on defense readiness. I need concrete examples of waste in Pentagon procurement. We need two more members of the IRC for post spin. I need you to fill out this marriage license and paperwork for a joint checking account and review this 60-second answer on Rwanda.
Okay, okay, okay and um, under no circumstances, and sure.
See, by my count, you said under no circumstances to the IRC post spin and sure...
I said under no circumstances to marrying you again.
May I ask why?
I have the unique experience of having done it once before.
What's going on with you and Andy?
Nothing.
I think you're wrong.
I'm not.
I think you're getting back together.
We're not.
But you want to.
Yes.
I think... Wait. What?
See, sometimes if I slam on the brakes, you run right past.
Okay, fill us in on everything you've got so far between the two of you.
Yeah, that's what's going to happen right now.
We're choosing pictures from the collection at the National Gallery.
They'll loan stuff?
Anything you want in the National Gallery or the whole Smithsonian.
Really?
Yeah.
I want Apollo 11.
Well, you can't have that.
Then don't bother me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
