The West Wing · Season 4
Josh and Sam talked to me. I'm on board.
With what?
Team Toby.
See, I lent voice to thought and that was my mistake.
If you want to marry Andy, then, damn it, so do I...
Okay.
...want that, you know, to happen to you.
I get it.
Do you? Because this is about love.
I think you have a different motivation.
Laughs?
Yes.
Sure, but also as much love, really, as I think either one of us are comfortable with.
Ten words: "I will make America's defenses the strongest in the history of the world."
"In the history of the world?" When we say that, are we comparing ourselves to the Visigoths, adjusted for inflation?
My view of this is simple: we don't need a Federal Department of Education telling us our children have to learn Esperanto, they have to learn Eskimo poetry. Let the states decide, let the communities decide on health care, on education, on lower taxes, not higher taxes. Now, he's going to throw a big word at you - "unfunded mandate." He's going to say if Washington lets the states do it, it's an unfunded mandate. But what he doesn't like is the federal government losing power. But I call it the ingenuity of the American people.
President Bartlet, you have 60 seconds for a question and an answer.
Well, first of all, let's clear up a couple of things. "Unfunded mandate" is two words, not one big word. There are times when we're fifty states and there are times when we're one country, and have national needs. And the way I know this is that Florida didn't fight Germany in World War II or establish civil rights. You think states should do the governing wall-to-wall. That's a perfectly valid opinion. But your state of Florida got $12.6 billion in federal money last year - from Nebraskans, and Virginians, and New Yorkers, and Alaskans, with their Eskimo poetry. 12.6 out of a state budget of $50 billion. Now, I'm supposed to be using this time for a question, so here it is: Can we have it back, please?
Game on!
Governor Ritchie, many economists have stated that the tax cut, which is the centerpiece of your economic agenda, could actually harm the economy. Is now really the time to cut taxes?
You bet it is. We need to cut taxes for one reason - the American people know how to spend their money better than the federal government does.
Mr. President, your rebuttal.
There it is. That's the ten word answer my staff's been looking for for two weeks. There it is. Ten-word answers can kill you in political campaigns. They're the tip of the sword. Here's my question: What are the next ten words of your answer? Your taxes are too high? So are mine. Give me the next ten words. How are we going to do it? Give me ten after that, I'll drop out of the race right now. Every once in a while... every once in a while, there's a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong, but those days almost always include body counts. Other than that, there aren't very many unnuanced moments in leading a country that's way too big for ten words. I'm the President of the United States, not the President of the people who agree with me. And by the way, if the left has a problem with that, they should vote for somebody else.
Now, I want people to work together in this great country, and that's what I did in Florida--I brought people together--and that's what I'll do as your President. End the logjam, end the gridlock, and bring Republicans together with Democrats, 'cause Americans are tired of partisan politics.
Actually, what you've done in Florida is bring the right together with the far right. And I don't think Americans are tired of partisan politics; I think they're tired of hearing career politicians diss partisan politics to get a gig. I've tried it before. They ain't buying it. That's okay, though...that's okay, though, 'cause partisan politics is good. Partisan politics is what the Founders had in mind. It guarantees that the minority opinion is heard, and as a lifelong possessor of minority opinions, I appreciate it. But if you're troubled by it, Governor, you should know, in this campaign, you've used the word 'liberal' 74 times. In one day. It was yesterday.
I'm not sure I can watch anymore...no, wait, I can. I can.
Sixty percent is 6 of 10 in a focus group. You change one mind, it's a dead heat. You change two, it's a landslide. This campaign's a mechanism of persuasion. We're not asking for a show of hands.
Ten words. Ten words.
We don't have them yet, Mr. President.
All right, let's do a drill.
Mr. President, despite a rise in tension around the globe, you've held up funding for a missile defense shield.
Too much money for too little protection.
Good.
Next.
Sir, you oppose a voucher system that would offer children a choice of better schools...
That would offer some children a choice of better schools, but I haven't given up the ghost on better schools for everybody, and vouchers drain money from that goal.
Mr. President, this next question is on capital punishment, which you oppose: If your youngest daughter Zoey was raped and murdered, would you not want to see the man responsible put to death?
First of all, it's important to understand the President doesn't make that decision, though he appoints the Supreme Court Justices who do so. What... any... um... All right, I'm not going to say that. I'll just go right to... No, I don't. I think you know that I'm opposed.... [sighs] Let's not do that. I haven't seen any evidence that it's a deterrent, and there are more effective... In my state...
Oh, my God.
What?
[to Leo] You weren't kidding. [to Bartlet] What's the matter with you? When I left you... I just mentioned your daughter being murdered, and you're giving us an answer that's not only soporific, it's barely human! Yes, you'd want to see him put to death. You'd want it to be cruel and unusual, which is why it's probably a good idea that fathers of murder victims don't have legal rights in these situations. Now, we're going back to school.
[There is a long pause of silence, then they all begin to laugh.]
Let's go-- ten bucks. Crisis of confidence. [to Leo] You did one square foot of real estate.
Yes, I did.
Ten bucks for you. [to Toby] And you-- You big bear, come to me. I'm going to kiss you right on the mouth.
Ten bucks.
Anything else, sir?
Work hard.
Thank you, sir.
[They walk out of the Oval Office]
[to Sam] Have a safe flight.
I'll see you in San Diego.
[to Toby] Sorry about that. It was the President's idea. He bet us you couldn't stay quiet if he gave a bad answer. What?
He's ready.
You wrote a concession?
Of course I wrote a concession. What, do you want to tempt the wrath of the... whatever, from high atop the thing?
No.
Then go outside, turn around three times and spit. What's the hell is the matter with you?
It's like, 25 degrees outside.
Go!
Did you know Toby wrote a concession speech?
Of course he wrote a concession speech. What possible reason would he have for not writing a concession speech?
The wrath from high atop the thing?
He upped and said we were gonna...
No! You gotta go outside, turn around three times and curse.
Spit.
Spit and curse.
Do everything.
Go!
Go!
GO!
Did you--?
Yes, I turned, I cursed, I spat, it froze.
[to Toby] Listen, I know better than to stick my face in your personal life. Except, you know, for sport.
That was wonderful!
That was fun.
How you feeling?
I feel great.
You want a glass of water?
No, I'm fine.
You seem a little dry. Sure you don't want a glass of water?
No, I feel great.
Maybe I should get you a glass of water, just in case. You could hold it in your hand.
[pause] How'd you know?
You were off the prompter.
[A little teary] Just for a second, I couldn't see it.
It's all right. There are going to be more days like this. It starts now. It's going to be harder this time.
Yeah, I know. We can still have tonight, though, right?
[fighting tears; smiles] You've got lots of nights.
The die's been cast, big brother. You're making everyone crazy.
There's a moment, after you cast the die but before it hits the table. Breathe wrong and you'll change the way it lands.
She wanted a name for election night and I said, "Use my name," not thinking for a second it was ever going to be a practical option. Can I ask, is your office now The House of the Rising Sun?
Yes.
You did it for the widow.
Yes, and for a guy I met named Will Bailey who was running the campaign and worked his ass off and never backed off and, by the way, navigated a dead liberal Democrat to a win against Chuck Webb! Five hundred races tonight, that was pretty impressive. Though it was an Aristotelian confluence of events that could only happen to me.
I don't want to intimidate you, but it turns out I'm the first Democrat in twenty years to make a clean sweep of the Plains states. And I'm not just talking about Iowa and Nebraska.
Are you trying to turn me on now?
Yeah.
All right.
I won the Dakotas, the Badlands, the Black Hills... But let's go down, way down, to the Deep South and the humid bayou of Louisiana and its nine electoral votes. What manner of man it must take to win the state, which, by the way, is the only one operating under the Napoleonic Code of France. And I still don't know what that's all about, but back to me...
Hon, this is like, nerd hot talk.
Who's your Commander in Chief?
You are.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
