Toby Ziegler quotes from The West Wing

Toby

There's literally no one in the world that I don't hate right now.

Toby

We're gonna see to all those things. In the meantime, at a time when the public is rightly concerned about the impact of sex and violence on TV this administration is gonna protect the Muppets, we're gonna protect Wall Street Week, we're gonna protect Live From Lincoln Center and by God, we are going to protect Julia Child.

Toby

[to Andy] I have to get back to work. And you, being a Congresswoman... I'm sure you need to be back out there... you know, screwing the people.

Toby

Why's a test-ban treaty so important? Let me tell you. In 1974, India set off a peaceful nuclear explosion. Indira Gandhi herself said they had no intention of building a bomb, they just wanted to know that they could. Twenty years later India sets off five nuclear explosions. Who gets nervous? Pakistan. And when Pakistan gets nervous, everybody get nervous. You know why? 'Cause we're all gonna die.

Toby

When you think of Afghanistan, think of Poland. When you think of the Taliban, think of the Nazis. When you think of the citizens of Afghanistan, think of the Jews in concentration camps. A friend of my dad's was at one of the camps. He used to come over to the house, and he and my dad used to shoot some pinochle. He said he once saw a guy at the camp kneeling and praying. He said, "What are you doing?" The guy said he was thanking God. And my dad's friend said, "What could you possibly be thanking God for?" He said, "I'm thanking God for not making me like them." Bad people can't be recognized on sight. There's no point in trying.

Toby

There's always been a concern about the two Bartlets. The absent-minded professor with the 'Aw, Dad' sense of humor. Disarming and unthreatening. Good for all time zones. And the Nobel Laureate. Still searching for salvation. Lonely, frustrated, lethal.

Toby

Well, how bout when we, instead of blowing Iraq back to the 7th century for harboring terrorists and trying to develop nuclear weapons, we just imposed economic sanctions and were reviled by the Arab world for not giving them a global charge card and a free trade treaty? How about when we pushed Israel to give up land for peace? How about when we sent American soldiers to protect Saudi Arabia and the Arab World told us we were desecrating their Holy Land while ignoring the fact that we were invited? How about two weeks ago, in the State of the Union, when the President praised the Islamic people as “faithful” and “hard-working” only to be denounced in the Arab press as knowing nothing about Islam, but none of that is the point... I don't remember having to explain to Italians that our problem wasn't with them, but with Mussolini. Why does the US have to take every Arab country out for an ice cream cone? They'll like us when we win! (long pause) Thousands of madrasas teaching children nothing nothing nothing but the Koran and to hate America. Who do we see about that? Do I want to preach America or Judeo-Christianity? No. If their religion forbids them from playing the trumpet, so be it. But I want those kids to... look at a globe. Be exposed to social sciences, history, some literature. They'll like us when we win.

Toby

We don't know what the next president is going to face. If we choose someone with vision, someone with guts, someone with gravitas, who is connected to other peoples lives and cares about making them better. If we choose someone who inspires us then we will be able to face what comes our way and achieve things we can't imagine yet.

Toby

[to Leo] You're like the guys who say, 'Are you telling me you could only find one African-American speechwriter good enough to work at the White House?' I'm amazed I found that many. 'Good enough to work at the White House' is a pretty small population to begin with. And guys who can write entire sections of a State of the Union? I'd be as surprised if there were as many as nine of us. And Sam was one of them.

Toby

[to Will] Listen, when you get home tonight you're going to be confronted by the instinct to drink alone. Trust that instinct. Manage the pain. Don't try to be a hero.

Toby

[to Sam] You're gonna lose, and you're gonna lose huge, they're gonna be throwing rocks at you next week, and I wanna be standing next to you when they do.

Toby

[to his twin newborns] I didn't realize babies come with hats. You guys crack me up. You don't have jobs, you can't walk or speak the language, you don't have a dollar in your pockets, but you got yourselves a hat, so everything's fine. I don't want to alarm you or anything, but I'm Dad. And for you, son, for you this will be the last time I pass the buck, but I think it should be clear from the get-go that it was Mom who named you Huckleberry. I guess she was feeling like life doesn't present enough challenges to overcome on its own. And honey, you've got a name now, too. Your mom and I named you after an incredibly brave, uh... An incredibly brave woman. Really not all that much older than you. Your name is Molly. Huck... and Molly. So, what do I do? Well, you're going to need food and clothes and doctors and dentists... there's that. And should you have any questions along the way... I'm going to be doing stuff like this, Huck, 'cause you're leaking a little bit out of your mouth there. You holding my finger, son? Hey Molly, your brother's holding my hand. You wanna hold my hand?

Toby

If we go two lines without using the phrase 'unimaginably large military arsenal' we're out of our minds.

Toby

Who needs Dante? I'm on my way to hell at 30,000 feet.

Toby

[to Ed & Larry] This meeting's about politics. Facts won't help.