Josh Lyman quotes from The West Wing

Josh

You know, I realize that as an adult not everyone shares my view of the world, and with an issue as hot as gun control I'm prepared to accept a lot of different points of view as being perfectly valid, but we can all get together on the grenade launcher, right?

Josh

It's what I do now; I'm a professional hostile witness.

Josh

Doctor Keyworth, I'm the deputy White House Chief of Staff. I oversee 1,100 White House employees. I answer directly to Leo McGarry and the President of the United States. Did you think you were talking to the paperboy? In your wildest dreams, did you imagine that I would walk into this room without knowing exactly who you are and what you do?

Josh

The number of people whose permission I need before I can do whatever the hell I want... Let me tell you something - there's really a lot to be said for fascism.

Josh

What's Islamic extremism? It's strict adherence to a particular interpretation of 7th century Islamic law as practiced by the prophet Mohammed, and when I say "strict adherence," I'm not kidding around. Men are forced to pray, wear their beards a certain length. Among my favorites is there's only one acceptable cheer at a soccer match: 'Allah-uh-Akbar.' "God is great." If your guys are getting creamed, then you're on your own. Things are a lot less comic for women, who aren't allowed to attend school or have jobs. They're not allowed to be unaccompanied, and oftentimes get publicly stoned to death for crimes like not wearing a veil. I don't have to tell you they don't need to shout at a soccer match because they're never going to go to one. So what bothers them about us? Well, the variety of cheers alone coming from the cheap seats at Giants stadium when they're playing the Cowboys is enough for a jihad, to say nothing of street corners lined church next to synagogue, next to mosque, newspapers that can print anything they want, women who can do anything they want including taking a rocket ship to outer space, vote, and play soccer. This is a plural society. That means we accept more than one idea. It offends them... You want to get these people? I mean, you really want to reach in and kill them where they live? Keep accepting more than one idea. It makes them absolutely crazy.

Josh

But listen, don't worry about all this right now. We got you covered. Worry about school. Worry about what you'll tell your parents when you break curfew. You're gonna meet guys. You're gonna meet girls. (Not so much you, Fred.) Learn things, be good to each other. Read the newspapers, go to the movies, go to a party, read a book. In the meantime, remember pluralism. You want to get these people? I mean, you really want to in and kill them where they live? Keep accepting more than one idea. Makes them absolutely crazy.

Josh

Stopping all bipartisan legislation is like saying 'Let's blow up the place. Maybe voters'll hire us to rebuild it.'

Josh

I got a letter today that said, uh... "You're a lying liar. You lie almost as well as Bartlet." You know, black-white, rich-poor, north-south, odd-even. There may not be anything anymore that outpaces the hatred the right feels for the left or the tonnage of disrespect the left feels for the right. Donna got a letter yesterday that said, "I'm collecting all the guns you've banned, and there's a bullet with your name on it in each one." Donna. The guy's decided to focus his wrath on Donna. He's never met Donna or spoken to her, and he's never met anyone who's met Donna or spoken to her. How's it possible? How's it possible that he hates her so much? How can you not like Donna? She's from Wisconsin! Anyway, 20,000 specific threats made against U.S. targets every year, and with all that, it's still the ones who don't give you advance notice that you're worried about.

Josh

By refusing to put language to it, we pretend it does not exist. But it's something. Even if we don't know what to call it. I just think it's time to start working on a language plan for whatever it is we're doing, too.

Josh

What I know is politics, public perception. And the image of NASA is not good. Telescopes launched that can't focus, planetary probes that crashed because engineers mixed up meters and feet. The only time NASA makes the front page anymore is when something goes wrong. You need to get off the front page. This administration only has one space priority: that you guys stop screwing up.

Josh

Voyager, in case it's ever encountered by extraterrestrials, is carrying photos of life on earth, greetings in fifty-five languages, and a collection of music from Gregorian chant to Chuck Berry, including "Dark Was the Night, Cold Was the Ground" by 1920s bluesman Blind Willie Johnson, whose stepmother blinded him at seven by throwing lye in his eyes after his father beat her for being with another man. He died penniless of pneumonia after sleeping bundled in wet newspapers in the ruins of his house that burned down, but his music just left the solar system.

Josh

[to C.J.] Sure. I'll start pulling together the briefing packets for you. Come on, you're going; you need Toby to deal with the press. Somebody's got to man the fort here. I'm fine staying. You're his guy. You're in the room, in the chair. He needs you. That's how it was with Leo; that's how it's supposed to be.

Josh

New Hampshire is about retail politics. People here won't vote for you until you've had coffee in their house five times.

Josh

It's been two days since the press asked me a policy question. And I think that was about the smoking policy on the plane.

Josh

People think the campaign's about two competing answers to the same question. They're not. They're a fight over the question itself.