Donna Moss quotes from The West Wing

Donna

[to Josh] You have to ask a girl out on a date. You can't just randomly tumble into a girl sidewise and hope she breaks up with you soon - the way you always do.

Donna

A lot of them, their judges spoke at their sentencing about the harshness of what they had to impose.... Scrutinize away. You tell me? Do we toss out Daisy Aimes, mother of three... had a boyfriend who stored a kilo in her closet. She's done eight years and is facing eleven more. That's longer than rapists and child molesters get.... I don't see a list anymore. These are people.

Donna

I wasn't heroic. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[referring to his Presidential run, speaking to Mandy, who just drove her car onto a curb] It wasn't going to happen.

Mandy

You know what the worst part about this is?

Well, I think you dinged up your suspension pretty good.

Mandy

No, Lloyd, it's the party they're having, right now, in the West Wing, at my expense.

They're not having a party in the West Wing.

Mandy

I've worked with these people for two and a half years. They like to win and they like to gloat.

I'm sure you're wrong.

Mandy

I'm sure I'm not.

There are very serious people working at the White House. A blow is struck for party unity today, there's no cause to gloat.

Josh

Victory is mine, victory is mine. Great day in the morning, people, victory is mine.

Donna

Morning Josh.

Josh

I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.

Donna

It's going to be an unbearable day.

Josh

Donna? How much were the sandwiches?

Donna

$12.95

Josh

I gave you a twenty.

Donna

Yes, as it turns out, actually, you gave me more money than I needed to buy what you asked for. However, knowing you, as I do, I'm afraid I can't trust you to spend the change wisely. I've decided to invest it for you.

Josh

That was nice. That was a little parable.

Donna

I want my money back.

Donna

I'm not wild about this whole Indonesian thing.

Josh

What's the problem?

Donna

I've been doing some reading on my own.

Josh

I wish you wouldn't do that.

Donna

Why?

Josh

Because you tend to cull some bizarre factoid from a less than reputable source and then you blow it all out of proportion.

Donna

I do not.

Josh

Donna...

Donna

I just thought you might like to know that in certain parts of Indonesia, they summarily execute people they suspect of being sorcerers.

Josh

What?

Donna

I read it.

Josh

They... summarily execute people they suspect of being sorcerers?

Donna

They behead them.

Josh

Sorcerers.

Donna

Gangs of roving people. Beheading those they suspect of being sorcerers. You know with... what's that thing that Death carries?

Josh

A scythe.

Donna

They're doing it with a scythe.

Josh

Well, thanks for the head's up.

Donna

I thought you might like to know who's coming over for dinner.

Josh

You bet.

Donna

So if the Capitol building blows up, the man my country will be looking to is the Secretary of Agriculture?

Josh

It's my country too.

Donna

Yeah, but you'll be dead.

Josh

Which is why I really don't care that much.

Donna

Josh–

Josh

[Cutting Donna off] Donna, I really don't anticipate the Capitol building exploding.

Donna

What percentage of things exploding have been anticipated?

Josh

Now you're bringing me down.

Donna

I would think so.

Josh

I can hold my liquor.

Donna

No, you can't.

Josh

I can drink with the best of 'em, Donna.

Donna

You can't drink with any of 'em, Josh.

Josh

I'm a politician, okay? I can drink.

Donna

You have a very sensitive system.

Josh

I wish you'd stop telling people that. It makes me sound like an idiot.

Donna

You're gonna have two drinks and spend the rest of the weekend sleeping it off.

Cut take.

Bartlet

Sorry, everybody. This is gonna be it. Four is my lucky number.

Donna

This is take five, sir.

Bartlet

Five is my lucky number. "Fifth-take Bartlet" - that's what Jack Warner used to call me.

Donna

Did you really know Jack Warner, Mr. President?

Bartlet

Yeah, because I used to be a contract player in Hollywood and I'm 97 years old.

Saturday morning radio address, take 21.

Donna

I have a really good feeling about this one, sir.

Bartlet

Is this still my first term?

[storming into the Oval Office] Mr. President, have you lost what little was left of your mind? I can't possibly work like this!

Donna

Oh, dear God.

Cut!

Bartlet

I had it!

Excuse me, sir, is this a bad time?

Bartlet

It's a bit of a bad time, Lionel...

Well, forgive me, sir, but when you have a few moments, I would like to discuss the hiring of a blonde and leggy fascist whose knowledge does not include the proper order of the alphabet for positions of the White House Counsel's office.

Bartlet

And we will, Lionel, but right now I don't know if you noticed but there are thirty or forty other people in the room, many of whom have donated significant amounts of money to the Democratic Party, so perhaps you could put a tighter grip on your horses and we will talk about it later.

Yes. Well. Good morning, everyone! Thank you, Mr. President.

Bartlet

Well, obviously, Lionel Tribbey is a brilliant lawyer whom we cannot live without, or there would be very little reason not to put him in prison.

Donna

So, I'm being used.

Josh

Yes.

Donna

As a dupe.

Josh

Yes.

Donna

How am I supposed to feel about that?

Josh

How do you usually feel about that?

Donna

My value here is that I have no value.

Josh

You have enormous value to me. You have absolutely no value to Eastern Europe.

Donna

I have an excellent sense about these things.

Josh

Actually, you have no sense about these things. You have no vibe, you have terrible taste in men, and your desire to be coupled up will always and forever drown out any sense of self or self-worth that you may have.

Donna

You're a downer, you know that? I'm calling you Deputy Downer from now on.

Donna

Josh, this was delivered by messenger.

Josh

What is it?

Donna

It's... wait... wait... no. Damn, my x-ray vision is failing me today.

Donna

[about Lord John Marbury] Are you threatened by his brilliance?

Josh

Neither Leo nor I are threatened by his brains, his looks or his charm. He is, however, a lunatic Brit and we're grateful there's an ocean between us.