Jefferson Twilight quotes from The Venture Bros.

Jefferson Twilight

Orpheus, you drag us into this BS, so how do you wanna go out? Sitting in a peep-booth waiting for some Atari bitch to tell you Game-Over, or do you wanna finish what you started?

Dr. Orpheus

What do you mean?

Jefferson Twilight

I mean we already know where they're at, so lets go get them.

Dr. Orpheus

Yes, yes.

The Alchemist

Yeah-yeah, Player-3 buying in.

Dr. Orpheus

We must draw him out. Draw him from Hell with Hell. Quickly! What is the worst thing that's ever happened to you? (Points at Jefferson Twilight.)

Jefferson Twilight

Um...I saw my mom raped by blackulas. I was 10. She called my name. I just stood there.

Dr. Orpheus

Um, wow. Wait, I can hear him. More ugliness?

Once I saw two homeless guys giving each other oral sex.

Dr. Orpheus

Yes, he's closer! More like that.

The Alchemist

Okay, this is really gross. Once I was out of toilet paper, so I used cotton balls. So, you know, I'm wiping, and I think my finger kinda poked through the cotton. So I—and do not ask me why—I smell my finger to check.

Jefferson Twilight

Gross. I see where this is going.

Dr. Orpheus

Quickly, Al, he's so close!

The Alchemist

Okay, I bring it up to smell it, right. But somehow the cotton got stuck to my fingers, so when I smell my fingers, the cotton's getting stuck to my razor stubble. So then I have this shit-cotton all over my face!

Hank

Hey, can I ask you something? You’re gay, right?

The Alchemist

Yeah!

Hank

What’s it looked like? I mean, is it real or is it all Frankenstein?

The Alchemist

Hank!

Hank

Your dingus. Does it look real?

The Alchemist

What is kid-crazy talking about?

Jefferson Twilight

He thinks you're transgender.

The Alchemist

Hank, it looks real because it is real. I’m gay. It doesn’t mean I was born a woman. I have a regular dingus, as you say.

Jefferson Twilight

Hank, aren’t you just a little ashamed of your ignorance?

The Alchemist

Like just a little?

Hank

Yeah, constantly.

Jefferson Twilight

Torrid's a dick. Who does that? Who opens up hell, honestly?

Dr. Orpheus

If Torrid gets the portal open we’re done for. Once the second-world comes through, we haven’t the power to stop them.

The Alchemist

I gotta be honest, I’m scared. I’m like a 9 scared. 9.3 maybe.

Dr. Orpheus

We should all be at 10. There isn’t a sorcerer alive who has the ability to fight the denizen of the second-world. I’m a 10.

Jefferson Twilight

If Orpheus is going Bo Derek then I'm pushing it up to 8.

Dr. Orpheus

I admire your bravery. Now are you ready to wage our final battle?

The Alchemist

What? Hell no. I have one more thing to try. [Yells at Torrid] Stop being a pud. Knock it off you dimbat. Nobody wants you to open a door to hell.

No, no. I command thee!

The Alchemist

Something just came out of the vortex and killed Torrid. So, that happen.

Dr. Orpheus

The time is now. Triad join me. I am Dr. Orpheus, master of mysticism.

Jefferson Twilight

I’m a...

The Alchemist

I don’t wanna do that introducing ourselves bit, it’s goofy. Lets not die being goofy.

Jefferson Twilight

I’m with Al. Maybe we can sing a Stevie Wonder song together!

The Alchemist

Yeah, that’s not much better.

Dr. Orpheus

Triad! Be unseen!

Jefferson Twilight

Was something supposed to happen? Are we invisible now, or something?

Dr. Orpheus

No, I meant that we should hide. Just like behind something.

The Alchemist

Well be specific next time.

Jefferson Twilight

Score?

The Alchemist

85%.

Jefferson Twilight

Get out! Where did I blow?

The Alchemist

Well, for one, you killed Matthew Lasko.

Jefferson Twilight

That was... well, he was wearing punctuation on his suit. That's a total bad-guy suit!

The Alchemist

He helps people get free money from the government. That is a good guy. It's reflected in your score.