Carey quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

London, shall we get this dancing lesson started, I want you to get your money's worth.

Carey

How much is she paying you?

Three diamonds an hour.

Carey

I'm only getting two. I got robbed.

Carey

Hey, Mr. Moseby. Fancy meetin' you here. (to Zack) You? Not so fancy. Wow, here before lunch on the first day. I think that's a record.

And you are...?

Carey

I'm sorry. I'm Carey Martin. I'm Cody's mom.

Oh, well, I called you about Zack.

Carey

I know. I just like people to know I'm battin' 500.

(exhausted) Ahhh!

Carey

I know I know I gained a few pounds but I go jogging everyday.

Ahhh?

Carey

Would you believe three times a week?

Ah?

Carey

Okay, I went yesterday.

Ahhhhh!

Okay, people. The best way to understand a co-worker is by stepping into their shoes.

London

But, I'm a dainty size 3, Maddie has the feet of Sasquatch!

Maddie

He means we act like someone else to see their point of view. For example, I'll be you! (imitating London) Mint me, Candy Girl! Even though you're busy, forget the other customers because I'm more important! Yay me! (claps hands)

London

(imitating Maddie) Sorry, London. I can't right now, because I have to tell you a boring story about one of my weird relatives. Do me a favor and pretend to listen, would you? While I go on, and on, and on wearing my really ugly clothes!

Nia

(imitating Maddie) Oh, and let's not forget, since I'm back from saving the penguins, I want everyone to drop what they're doing and do it the way I want it!

Millicent

(imitating Nia) And, I'm Nia. I can make you do anything I say because I'm tough and can crush you like a grape! (Nia gets mad at Millicent) I was talking about another Nia.

Nia

Uh-huh.

Carey

Ooh! I'll do Patrick! (imitating Patrick) Well, (fixes her hair) I suppose I could get you to finish dinner in time to see Carey Martin's show, but that would mean working hard. (everyone else gasps)

Arwin

(thinking he is imitating Estaban) Mr. Moseby! Mr. Moseby! Can I take something that's working perfectly well and do some conveluded thing to it until it breaks? (laughs)

Carey

Arwin, I don't think you're supposed to imitate yourself.

Arwin

Oh, I thought I was doing Esteban.

No, no, no. Esteban is more like this. (imitating Esteban) Oh, Mr. Moseby! Oh, can I have a day-off? Because, my chicken has chicken pox, and I can't feed him chicken soup, 'cause he's a chicken! Did I mention the fact that I have a chicken?

Esteban

(imitating Mr. Moseby) Oh, very well! Good luck with that! Oh, keep carrying those bags, Esteban, like a pack mule! While I sit in my office talking to my mommy!

Zack

[to Cody] Dude, you're jealous of a rumor and I'm not even sure I heard it right

Cody

(crying) Oh, great! Now I've ruined my life by dumping Barbara, (squeaky) I have NOTHING!

Carey

You have a family that loves you.

Cody

(still crying) I mean something that I care about!

Carey

Honey I think you're getting addicted to this game.

Zack

Oh please mom. I can stop anytime I want.

Carey

Kay. How bout now?

Zack

I said anytime I want.

Zack

Did you know there are more germs on a telephone than a toilet seat?

Cody

I used the phone today! And a toilet!!

Zack

They’re gettin’ you from both ends. Oh! And you don’t even want to know about your pillowcase.

Cody

What! What about my pillow case!

Zack

It has a million little dust mites. Party over here, party over there, let’s all eat Cody’s hair!

Cody

I gotta go shampoo! [runs out]

Carey

Stop torturing your brother.

Zack

Look who’s talkin’. You almost made liver.

Carey

Zack, what were you thinking?!

Zack

Well you see--

Carey

I don't wanna hear it! Cody, what was going through your mind?

Cody

It's just--

Carey

Zip it, mister!

Carey

Oh, stupid, snoring dog kept me up all night.

Zack

Well, when it comes out of that end, it ain't called snoring.