Zack quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Cody

You know, Tim always obeys me.

Zack

He's a rock!

Carey

You're gonna write those girls an apology and an essay on why peeping is wrong. Five hundred words each.

Zack

Five hundred words? Couldn't you just ground us?

Carey

One thousand.

Zack

One thousand!

Carey

Two thousand. You wanna go for three?

Cody

Quit while we're behind. You don't even know three thousand words.

Cody

(after lamp hits wall) Oh no!

Zack

Wonder what Mr. Moseby will say?

(appearing in doorway) I don't know. Let's ask him.

Zack

Hey, Maddie, I'm running for class president!

Maddie

Great! What's your platform?

Zack

"Vote for Zack."

Maddie

No, that's your slogan. Your platform covers the issues you care about. What do you care about most?

Zack

I care about people who vote for Zack!

Zack

You back-stabbing lowlife jerk!

Carey

You better be talking to him.

Zack

I am.

Carey

Well, don't talk to him like that.

Zack

Cody actually has some very good ideas. I've got nothing.

Bob

What about ice cream and skate parks? (crowd agrees)

Zack

Like that'll happen. What do you guys still believe in, the Tooth Fairy?

Cody

It's about doing your homework, eating your broccoli when Mom isn't looking!

Zack

You offered it to me!

Cody

Yeah, because that's what brothers do for each other! But it's never reciprocal!

Zack

Huh?

Cody

Reciprocal means it would be nice if you did something for me for a change!

Zack

I did! You offered me money and I took it!

Carey

With what I made last month and with what you spent. What we have left for bikes is -$12.

Zack

Can I get my -$6 in cash.

Cody

Take an easy class? Like wood shop?

Zack

What makes you think wood shop is easy?

Cody

Duh, you're taking it.

Carey

Relax, Cody. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself.

Cody

I'm not putting too much pressure on me. Harvard's putting too much pressure on me! Yale is putting too much pressure on me! Princeton! M.I.T! Stanford! Do you think they're out there looking for under-achievers? If I don't ace woodshop, I'll end up being one of those guys who sells hot dogs and sleeps in a taxi!

Zack

Hey! How much does that pay?

Zack

What are you doing?

Cody

Getting ready to drill a hole.

Zack

Well, here in woodshop we tuck in our shirts before we use tools.

Cody

But this shirt is a 100% linen, if I tuck it in and take it out, it will be wrinkled.

Zack

Well, there's a 100% chance you'll be wrinkled when you get sucked into a sander. These safety rules were made for your own protection.

Cody

Oh, yeah? And who came out with them?

Bob

Nine-fingered Nick.

Maddie

This is so unfair! I have to have my party at the Goose Lodge because my brother needs braces. (to Liam) Thanks a lot, you thumb sucker!

You have no friends! Except this creepy dweeb!

Zack

Come over here, booger! I'll straighten your teeth!

Zack

(to Cody) Fine, then I guess I won't find Maddie the perfect gift and she'll never love me. And we'll never get married, forcing me to live on your couch, eating your food, not doing my laundry year after year.

Cody

Okay, stop it already!

Zack

(to Cody about his gift to Maddie) I'll buy it off you! Name your price.

Cody

Ten thousand dollars!

Zack

Name a lower price!

Zack

What did you get her?

Cody

A tea set, including a China cup with her name painted on it, her favorite tea imported from India, and a box of cinnamon sticks.

Zack

Well, how did you know she wanted all that?

Cody

Because last week, she said to us, "For my birthday, I'd really like a China cup with my name painted on it, my favorite tea imported from India, and a box of cinnamon sticks."

Zack

What was I doing when she said that?

Cody

Staring at her, thinking about that talk we had with Dad.