(on phone) Mrs. Marianucci Gaultieri?
Nucci Gaultieri: (on phone) Yes?
Hi, this is Detective Mike Hunt, Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania police department. You have a son Peter Paul?
Oh, my God! What happened?
He's alright, ma'am, but I'm afraid he's in a little trouble. We found him in a public men's room in Lafayette Park. I don't know how to put this delicately...he was sucking a cub scout's dick.
What? No, it's a mistake.
Ma'am, I wish that was all, uh, but I'm afraid we had to have emergency surgery performed upon arrival at headquarters, after discovery of a small rodent in the rectal passage.
OH, MY GOD!
A gerbil, ma'am. Uh, the county does not cover medical procedures deemed caused by criminal sexual activity. Section four, paragraph fifteen. We'll need an insurance number.
Oh, Madonn'! I have Blue Cross, Blue Shield. Is that all right?
Ma...Ma'am, c-could you hold on for one second, I have the hospital on the other line. (Ralph hangs up and laughs)
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