Tony Soprano quotes from The Sopranos

Carmela Soprano

AJ, how...how are we going ta get him ta go along, he won't leave his room, let alone the house.

Tony Soprano

He's gonna leave the house.

Carmela Soprano

Tony...

Tony Soprano

On a piece of plywood if necessary, but he's gonna leave the house.

You just bust in? I mean, we could've been doin' anythin'!

Tony Soprano

Yeah, but, what were you doin'? Nothin'.

Uncle Bobby's dead...

Tony Soprano

Yeah.

You know, this is really depressing to me.

Tony Soprano

He was a good guy.

I was already having so much trouble maintaining.

Tony Soprano

Thirty thousand dollars for that car!

Isn't that what you have insurance for?

Carmela Soprano

What, excuse me? You're not getting another one!

Actually, that's good! It'll force me to take the bus.

Carmela Soprano

What?

We have to break our dependance on foreign oil.

It didn't have to be this way.

Butch DeConcini

We agreed. It's gone too far. Phil...I don't know, he's changed. You got my word. We'll back off.

Tony Soprano

My price is you help us get a location on Phil.

Butch DeConcini

I can't go there. But you do what you gotta do.

Tony Soprano

One more thing. You hit my brother in-law.

Butch DeConcini

So?

Tony Soprano

This is my sister we're talkin' about. She's gotta see somethin' outta this.

Butch DeConcini

We'll come up with a number? (Tony agrees and shakes hands with Butch)

Carmela Soprano

Okay, as your parents, we don't feel joining the army is in your best interest.

This country is in a crisis.

Carmela Soprano

How can one soldier stop it?

When my enlistment's up, I could join the CIA or something. And with a military background, I'd have a leg up. And as an Arabic speaker, I'd be really useful.

Tony Soprano

I don't understand. You're gonna ask the Donald for some time off from your pilot job to go on CIA missions?

Everything's a joke to you!

Tony Soprano

I'm not havin' a good time.

Did you, or did you not want me to go to military school!?

Tony Soprano

So?

Paulie Walnuts

All due respect, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart, I'm gonna pass.

Tony Soprano

I don't fuckin' believe this! Why?

Paulie Walnuts

Every guy who ran that crew died prematurely.

Tony Soprano

Ah, come on!

Paulie Walnuts

I beat cancer once, you got no idea what that does ta you!

Tony Soprano

Yeah, I know, I know, but Jesus, you got-

Paulie Walnuts

Richie Aprile, Ralphie M.I.A., Vito, and who knows what the fuck with Carlo and Gigi!

Tony Soprano

Gigi died takin' a shit!

Paulie Walnuts

Doesn't mean it's not part of an overall pat!

Tony Soprano

Paulie, you gonna deny yourself life change o' the money? A package to leave your niece who has MS? You know, it's like your bullshit with the cat. The fuckin' animal catches mice for us, but you drown it.

Paulie Walnuts

I would.

Tony Soprano

He's not lookin' at Christopher! A rat died in the wall back there or some shit.

Paulie Walnuts

I moved the picture, that fuckin' thing came to the new spot, and stared.

Tony Soprano

The abstract shapes or somethin'. Tell you this, since his death, my gamblin' looks done a one eighty.

Paulie Walnuts

Oh, okay. It's fine for you ta believe that, but I can't worry about a jinx? Ton', I never told this to another livin' soul...

Tony Soprano

Yeah?

Paulie Walnuts

One time at the Bing, I was alone ta meet Eddy Lind. I saw the Virgin Mary.

Tony Soprano

Why didn't you say somethin'? Fuck strippers, we coulda had a shrine. Sold holy water in gallon jugs. Coulda made billions!

Paulie Walnuts

I tell you somethin' deep in my heart, and you laugh it off?

Tony Soprano

I'm not sayin' there's nothin' out there Paulie, but to not live your life? What the fuck are you gonna do? Hey, you don't want the job, you don't want the job. I could put Patsy in there. He's gonna be part of my family now. Be good.

Paulie Walnuts

Prick. You always know what ta say ta me, don't ya?

Tony Soprano

I'm serious.

Paulie Walnuts

I live but to serve you, my leige.

Uncle Junior

Hello.

Tony Soprano

What, you don't recognize me?

Uncle Junior

We used to play catch.

Tony Soprano

You don't remember that you shot me? Alright, enough with the fuckin' burns. I'm Anthony, Johnny's son.

Uncle Junior

Fuck you want, a boutonniere?

Tony Soprano

Alright, listen to me, Uncle Pat came to see me about Janice, about your money.

Uncle Junior

People keep askin' me. I don't know. There's a man from another galaxy that came here.

Tony Soprano

That's your accountant.

Uncle Junior

I'm confused.

Tony Soprano

Any money should go to Bobby Bacala's kids, now Janice may not do that, but Bobby was with us. He was a made guy. Wouldn't be right.

Uncle Junior

Me, I never had kids.

Tony Soprano

You remember where your stash is, you let Uncle Pat know. Me, as the head o' the family, I'll hold onto it as a guardian, for Bobby's kids. You remember Bobby?

Uncle Junior

Sure.

Tony Soprano

You don't know who I am, do ya? Remember Johnny? Johnny Boy? Your kid brother? This thing of ours.

Uncle Junior

I was involved with that?

Tony Soprano

You and my dad. You two ran North Jersey.

Uncle Junior

We did?

Tony Soprano

Yeah.

Uncle Junior

Hmm. Well, that's nice. (Tony's eyes swell up with tears)