Wow, that is the biggest Rice Krispie square I've ever seen! The rich sure know how to live.
“The Boy Who Knew Too Much” · Season 5
In this episode: Homer Simpson (3), Bart Simpson (3), Principal Skinner (2), Marge Simpson (1), Chief Wiggum (1), Seymour Skinner (1), Kent Brockman (1), Barney Gumble (1)
[lowers a table out of the hotel window; then drops it] Got it, Barn?
[offscreen, below hotel] Got what? [table drops on his head] Ow!
You're stealing a table?
I'm not stealing it. Hotels expect you to take a few things. It's a souvenir!
Ah... Is that my necktie you're wearing?
Souvenir.
SCScott Christian
Let's go over to the county courthouse live to Kent Brockman.
—ockman, just outside the county courtroom where an argument about chowder has spilled over into the biggest trial in Springfield history. Behind these doors, a federal judge will ladle out steaming bowls of rich, creamy justice in a case the media have dubbed "Beat-Up Waiter". [pfft] This reporter suggested "Waitergate", but was shouted down at the press club. Now, it's illegal to televise court proceedings in this state, [whispers] so we'll have to be quiet. [courtroom doors close in his face] Dooh—!
Mom, what if there's a really bad, crummy guy who's going to jail, but I know he's innocent?
Well, Bart, your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying: "Shoot 'em all and let God sort them out." Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 Federal Marshals to bring him down. Now let's never speak of this again. [she then starts humming and dusting the TV]
Mom, what if I can get this guy off the hook? Should I do it?
Honey, you should listen to your heart... and not the voices in your head, like a certain uncle did one gray December morn.
Oh, my God... Someone's taken a bite out of the big Rice Krispie square! ...Oh, yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten, heh-heh.
[reads the verdict paper] What does "sequestered" mean?
It means if we're deadlocked we'll be put up somewhere until we reach a decision.
What does "deadlocked" mean?
It means the jury cannot reach a unanimous decision.
Uh-huh. And "if"?
Conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition that".
So IF we cannot reach a decision, the jury will be DEADLOCKED, and then we'll be SEQUESTERED in the Springfield Palace Hotel.
That's not going to happen, Homer.
Let's vote. My liver is failing.
Where we'll get free rooms, free food, free TV, free HBO, OOOH! FREE WILLY! [Skinner snatches paper from him]
Justice is not a frivolous thing, Simpson. It has little, if anything, to do with a disobedient whale. Now let's vote!
What are all of you voting?
EEveryone
Guilty.
Uh-huh. How many S's in innocent?
[everyone else groans]
Now I'm only doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.
[Bart sees Skinner in the jury; Skinner thinks his thoughts to him]
I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just a little reminder: If I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yeah, you heard me. I think words I would never say. [camera pans left to Homer]
I know you can read my thoughts, boy. [sings Meow Mix jingle] Meow-meow-meow-meow, meow-meow-meow-meow, meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow.
The system works. Just ask Claus von Bülow.
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