Bert Raccoon quotes from The Raccoons

Schaeffer

Alright class, we shall begin at the beginning; breathing.

Bert

Ha ha ha! Ah, come on Schaeffer we know how to breathe already! We've been doing it for years!

Schaeffer

You must be the advanced class, heh heh heh!

Bert

Okay, now you've got all Broo's stuff, but, uh... we better go over the list one more time. Let's see. Now you've got to walk him...

Four times a day, brush him once a day, he gets two bowls of puppy munch and fresh water at all times. I've got it, Bert. Just relax!

Nicole

All set, Bentley?

You bet!

Bert

Now you'll have a good time with Bentley, okay, little buddy?

See ya, Bert. Come on, Broo!

Nicole

Don't worry, Bert, Broo will be fine.

Bert

Bentley, where's Broo?

I left him outside. I told him to wait by the door.

Bert

You left him outside? Alone? You call that looking after a puppy?

But it's only for a few minutes! And what could happen to him anyway?

Bert

That's not the point Bentley, you said you'd look after him!

So Mom and Dad said I wasn't ready to take responsibility for a puppy.

Bert

Well...

Yeah, yeah. You don't have to say it. They're right.

Bert

However, it seems to me that admitting you're not ready for responsibility shows a certain amount of responsibility!

Bert

They can't tear down our clubhouse! Why, we're not even on their land!

You're right Bert. But we can fix it up a bit! After all they're our neighbours now, and we should try to get along.

Bert

Yeah I guess you're right. With a little work we could spruce this place up in no time. But we better be careful or those stuffed shirts at Lock Links will be over here wanting to join our club!

Bert

Hi George! Hard at work on another pecan pie?

George

Er, no, not exactly Bert.

Bert

(looking in oven) Ah, a luxurious lime mousse!

George

Bert, I'm cleaning the oven.

Bert

What's going on Lisa? You've never smoked before!

I don't need a lecture Bert Raccoon!

Bert

Hey, where are they all going?

That's the trouble with the press, Bert. Good news is no news.

Bert

Somebody just dumped this... this poison! How could they do it?

They just didn't care Bert.

Why are you quitting?

Bert

Because!

What kind of answer is that? Are you quitting because you might lose to me?

Bert

Of course not! I just don't feel like racing right now.

Bert Raccoon, you're acting like a child!