Cyril Sneer quotes from The Raccoons

There's big bucks in this recycling business, so I only think it's fair that you boys get to do some profit sharing of your own!

That's great boss!

I want you to go through this dump and recycle everything you can.

But... but boss, what about the profit sharing?

You two porkers can share the work, 50/50. And I'll take all the profits!

Hi Pop! What's up?

Larceny! Grand theft pooch napping! That's what's up! I want this plastered all over the front page of your alleged newspaper.

Bert

"Wanted, three pigs for the theft of one blue-point ridgeback retriever. Answers to the name of Snag. Generous reward for any information"?

Are you crazy? Aren't our lives miserable enough? Anything else you'd like to confess while you're at it? How about the dent we punt into the limo hmm? Oh, why don't you tell him about the time we sold his cigars!

Well now! Do go on...

Ohohoho, come on! Tell all!

But you... you said you wanted to confess...

ALMOST! We said we ALMOST wanted to confess, we didn't say we actually wanted to confess!

Of all the two-faced filthy lying twisted things I have done, I have never stooped as low as you three malicious mudwallowers!

Pigs

No boss.

Poor little Bentley, he must feel lousy... and the things I said to him! I hope you're proud of yourselves!

Pigs

We're not boss...

I haven't done that since I was a kid! Speaking of which Bentley, you are off the hook! That whole computer mess wasn't your fault at all.

It wasn't? I can have my old job back?

Of course not. Never should have hired you in the first place! You're supposed to enjoy the summer. You'll have plenty of time to be a grown up!

There's no one here!

I've been kept waiting for nothing! Who does this guy think he is?

Maybe he just stepped out to, er, freshen up before your meeting!

I want to buy his company, not go out on a date with him!

Well, thanks to our late arrival, there's going to be trouble getting a table!

Might I suggest we dine at my new private club, Lock Links?

Well then we could eat right away! Mmm! I can almost smell the food!

I smell something too and it's a bit fishy.

Good luck boss!

Luck? I don't need luck! I'm rich!

Ahem! Something wrong kid?

Oh, Mr Sneer! I guess this looks weird to you, huh?

No, I've done this before. With cigars. You know, they don't break nearly as nicely but they're just as hard to quit.

Oh I've already quit!

Great! But why the tears? I'd be hilariously happy if I could quit.

But your friends wouldn't dump you if you did! I just lost a friend. She said I wouldn't fit in with her crowd.

Listen kid, some crowds just are not worth belonging to.

Yeah, but I wanted to belong.

Crowds, clubs, it's all the same deal. You do what they want, they let you join up. Pretty soon you're just like them. I was almost a Lock Links lemming! You don't want to be one of those do you?

I guess not.

Dare to be different. And never mind what the crowd thinks! Because as long as they're talking about you, they'll never forget about you!

I guess you're right! Y'know Mr Sneer, you're a lot different from what people have told me. You're okay!

What people? What did they say? Were there three of them? Short little fat guys with flat noses and squeaky voices?

Mr Knox

I never thought I'd see the day, Mr Sneer. You and me working together for a better world.

Well, as long as a better world means better profits, I'm all for it!

Boys, we're going to find out who did this if it's the last thing we do!

Uh... we did it, boss.

YOU WHAT?!

It was just a job, boss!

We don't even know who hired us!

We didn't know what was in the barrels boss.

He wouldn't tell us.

He just told us to dump them!

He... he paid us a lot of money.

He paid you a lot of money. (Opens his safe and starts throwing money at them) You want money? Here! Here's lots of money! Take it all! Take some more! Just give me back the fishing hole! Can you do that?! Can you give me a price on that?! Can you?!

Gentlemen! Gentleman! I sure we can come to some accommodation here!

Mr Knox

Oh, I know we can, sir!

In fact, we've arranged some accommodation for you! (Cuts to two police officers with handcuffs)

No! Wait! You've got it all wrong! It was an accident! Trust me! NOOOO!

That's my Pop. The environmental crusader!

(about the fishing hole) It was a good place. At least we've got our memories.

I don't. I never got the chance.

Maybe not, Bentley. But feeling sorry about it won't change anything.

You're right, Cedric. It's up to us. We've got to change things.

This is one million dollars we're talking about!

No, it's you we're talking about! 'Cause if you don't slow down... well, all the money in the world wouldn't buy me another pop.