Summer Roberts quotes from The O.C.

Marissa

So everyone's saying you're going to be voted prom queen. Isn't that, like, your fifth-grade dream coming true?

Summer

No. My dream involved an actual date. A hot guy in a tux, with a carnation pinned to his lapel. Instead I'm drawing straws between Nerd Boy and Ass Clown.

Seth Cohen's a tool!

Seth

Okay. I know I'm not who you all imagined as prom king, seeing as how I'm not who any of you actually voted for. But she's the queen, and I love her. So I guess that makes me the king.

Summer

Cohen?

Seth

No, I'm just the guy standing next to you. You're the queen, all right? I'm the jester, perhaps, if that works. So let me ask you this, Your Highness: what can I do to make it up to you?

Summer

Well, you can start by dancing with me.

But he's a tool!

Summer

Should we bring him a snack? What does Ryan eat?

Seth

Dry cereal from a box and black coffee.

Summer

She's Taylor Townsend. She's, like, the Carl Rove of our school.

Seth

So you can take Carl Ro- you know who Carl Rove is?

Summer

Yeah, my step-mom sometimes naps in front of CNN. I hear things as I'm dragging her off to bed.

Seth

I know you don't consider yourself as active.

Summer

No, two hobbies: shopping and sunbathing.

Summer

Will you quit peeping out the window, Cohen?

Seth

You don't peep out of windows. You peep into them.

Summer

Huh. You'd know.

Seth

Oh God, incoming.

Taylor

Hey, guys, have you heard about the lock-in tomorrow night? The entire senior class is going to spend the night in the gym.

Summer

Oh, we can't make it.

Seth

Yeah, I'm taking off my arm with a hacksaw.

I don't get it, why don't you like me?

Summer

I'm already dating a dork.

Taylor

Summer, feel my forehead.

Summer

What? Why?

Taylor

I have college fever. Don't you?

Summer

Maybe. What are the symptoms? You become incredibly annoying?

Summer

Hey, guys, can't talk. I have to go see Dr. Kim.

Seth

You in trouble?

Summer

Uh, no. I have to change my college file. I got my SAT score.

Seth

Summer, we got our SAT scores back months ago.

Summer

Well, I took mine late. There was a Valley marathon the first time around.

Ryan

Oh. How'd you do?

Seth

Ryan, come on. You never ask a lady her age, weight or SAT score.

Summer

I got a 2300.

Summer

What? That bad?

Seth

Did you just wack me with your tuba?

Summer

Did you just jab me with your pegleg??!

Seth

It was a tap, you little wacker.

Summer

It was a jab, you little jabber.

Seth

If any of you were remotely Jewish, I would just say we could pool our bar mitzvah money, but... Holy crap, that's it.

Summer

What's it?

Ryan

No, no, no, no, no.

Seth

Yes.

Ryan

No way, dude.

Seth

Yes way, dude.

Ryan

I'm sorry, I can't. I'm not having it.

Summer

Having what?

Seth

A bar mitzvah.

Summer

Ryan gets a bar mitzvah. Now that is funny.

Ryan

Yeah. Summer's laughing.

Seth

No, that's just gas.

Seth

Now, listen to me. This wouldn't be an ordinary bar mitzvah. You know what this would be? Wait for it... A Chrismukkah bar mitzvahkkah. Spell that, dude.

Ryan

That's crazy.

Seth

Yeah, so crazy it just might work.

Summer

Look at the branch species. It's like Swiss cheese! Can it withstand heavier ornaments?

Marissa

[watching Summer choosing trees] So that's a pastime.

Ryan

[deadpan] Why not? We've been here three hours.

Seth

Hey, get in the spirit man. It's Christmukkah. I love Christmukkah.

Marissa

[smirks] So we've heard.

Seth

Seriously, the best thing I've ever done. The Jewish boy wants Christmas. I gave myself that.

Summer

If we're gonna launch a successful campaign to get Marissa back into Harbor, we have to find someone who can organize the masses. Someone whom you'll follow, you know, into battle.

Seth

Meet General Townsend.

Summer

Affirmative.

Summer

Ready to go? It's the third day of the Pride and Prejudice miniseries in English class.

Seth

Summer, the show you are about to see has all the makings of a classic Jane Austen novel. It's got sisters, lies and bosoms.