[Seth, Summer, Ryan, and Marissa are in the diner, discussing how they're going to help Johnny.]
If any of you were remotely Jewish, I would just say we could pool our bar mitzvah money, but... Holy crap, that's it.
I'm sorry, I can't. I'm not having it.
Ryan gets a bar mitzvah. Now that is funny.
[Summer slaps Seth.]
Now, listen to me. This wouldn't be an ordinary bar mitzvah. You know what this would be? Wait for it... A Chrismukkah bar mitzvahkkah. Spell that, dude.
Yeah, so crazy it just might work.
So, how's this going to work? I'm just going stand in front of Newport and sing Hebrew?
You chant. And hell, yes.
Jews don't believe in saints, just really good stand-up comics.
Ryan doesn't wear glasses.
He does when he's reading from right to left.
[Summer, Seth, Ryan and Marissa are at the nursery choosing Christmas trees]
Look at the branch species. It's like Swiss cheese! Can it withstand heavier ornaments?
[watching Summer choosing trees] So that's a pastime.
[deadpan] Why not? We've been here three hours.
Hey, get in the spirit man. It's Christmukkah. I love Christmukkah.
Seriously, the best thing I've ever done. The Jewish boy wants Christmas. I gave myself that.
You mark my words, this will be the best Christmukkah ever. [kisses Kirsten]
You're beginning to sound like Seth.
Well, it just means you'll listen less when he's gone.
The whole thing about a Bar Mitzvah is it's about becoming a man, not that you aren't one already. But if there were ever a time for an adult moment, this is it. Whatever's going on, set it aside until after tonight.
Will it be wallowing my pride?
I'm not saying it tastes good.
What is this thing you have?
Always helping these kinds of guys.
What, the wounded loner types? [Ryan looks down smiling] Sometimes they turn out to be good guys.
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