“The O.Sea” quotes from The O.C.

Ryan

What time is it?

Seth

It's 5:30... ish.

Ryan

You're showing up earlier and earlier.

Seth

Yeah, well, we have a lot of ground to cover. So I figured, since we're both up, we may as well get a jump on it.

Marissa

So everyone's saying you're going to be voted prom queen. Isn't that, like, your fifth-grade dream coming true?

Summer

No. My dream involved an actual date. A hot guy in a tux, with a carnation pinned to his lapel. Instead I'm drawing straws between Nerd Boy and Ass Clown.

Seth

I think one day, pretty soon, we're all gonna have a good laugh about this. Ha ha ha. I know that day feels far off, but comedy is just tragedy plus time.

Caleb

You know, I really did love you, Ju-Ju.

Julie

Ooh. Past tense. That stings.

Caleb

Sorry. Grammatical error.

Seth Cohen's a tool!

Seth

Okay. I know I'm not who you all imagined as prom king, seeing as how I'm not who any of you actually voted for. But she's the queen, and I love her. So I guess that makes me the king.

Summer

Cohen?

Seth

No, I'm just the guy standing next to you. You're the queen, all right? I'm the jester, perhaps, if that works. So let me ask you this, Your Highness: what can I do to make it up to you?

Summer

Well, you can start by dancing with me.

But he's a tool!

Sandy

[to Kirsten] I'm an expert of fighting with your father. And believe me, every time you think you've driven him away, he comes roaring back asking for more - you couldn't beat him off with a stick.

Sandy

Look, we want to go away for the weekend, and if we can't trust you by yourselves, you're gonna have to stay with your grandfather. Which means you'll be spending the weekend with Julie Cooper.

[look at each other] You can trust us.

Sandy

Good, now go do your homework.

Sandy

[out of the boys' earshot] Nothing like a little Julie Cooper to strike terror in the hearts of children everywhere.

Kirsten

[smirks] Very impressive!