Caleb Nichol quotes from The O.C.

Caleb

Speak of the devil and the devil, he doth appear.

Caleb

Believe it or not, I've got a past too. Not involving monster trucks per se.

Caleb

Seth! Ah... You're still not a football player.

Seth

Ha, no, but thank you.

Caleb

You have a quick wit, Seth. Amazing you're not better at skirt-chasing.

Seth

If by "skirts" you mean girls in your outdated cowboy-speak, I have a little news for you. Turns out somebody has a date to your party. And it's not a big deal or anything, but if you must know, Summer asked me.

Sandy

Summer. Wow. Summer's hot.

Seth

You did not just say that.

Kirsten

She looks good. Her spirits are high.

Caleb

She's high?

Kirsten

No, her spirit. Her mood. She's up.

Caleb

So, she's on uppers?

Caleb

Look, I know when I'm not wanted.

Sandy

And yet you're always at our house!

Caleb

You know what they say, one man's misfortune is another man's fortune.

Jimmy

Who says that?

Caleb

[smiling] I do.

Jimmy

I've never seen him smile before.

Sandy

I didn't know he had teeth.

Sandy

Are you going somewhere?

Caleb

Like, say, San Quentin?

Sandy

I gotta be at the OC airport in half an hour. I'm heading up to Portland.

Caleb

To see Seth.

Sandy

Yeah.

Caleb

I don't get it. His best friend leaves, so he runs off with another boy and his gay dad. You gotta admit, sounds kinda strange.

Sandy

And this coming from a guy who is one click away from wearing a wig and a fake moustache.

Sandy

She's agreed to supervised visitation. 20 minutes, max.

Caleb

She's my daughter. I don't need to be supervised.

Sandy

No, I'm supervising her. I'm afraid she might kill you.

Sandy

[sees the Newport Living cover with Julie's portrait] Honey, I don't want to alarm you but there is a giant Julie Cooper on the table.

Caleb

Is Kirsten here? I was hoping to have a chat with you both. It's about this ungodly magazine of Julie's. You heard about it?

Sandy

Heard about it? I've got an eighty-foot mock-up in my kitchen. It's gonna haunt me in my sleep!

Caleb

You have been monitored to one degree or another since before we were married. The affair you had with your former husband. The tryst last year with that high-schooler... Luke.

Julie

Oh, my God.

Caleb

I mean, your daughter's boyfriend. What will people think?

Julie

Ex-boyfriend.

Caleb

You know, I really did love you, Ju-Ju.

Julie

Ooh. Past tense. That stings.

Caleb

Sorry. Grammatical error.