The Loud House Season 1 quotes

Lynn Sr.

[sighs] I want our LJ back.

I have an idea, but we're all gonna have to eat some meatballs.

[smelling something] Mmm. Do I smell beef? [opens her window and gasps] Hey, what's going on?

Lynn Sr.

[carrying a bowl of meatballs] Hey, LJ! Just having a special night… meatball buffet and a neighborhood football game.

But that's like my dream night! The only thing better would be if you were having chocolate cake in a mud run!

Sorry your "boyfriend" from Switzerland hasn't arrived yet.

Henrik is not my boyfriend, Lola. We're still getting to know each other. And since he and his parents are touring the states, we thought it'd be fun to hang out. He should be here by now!

Rita

And… uploaded! [gasps] Mrs. Fox posted a picture of her newest decorations! [shaking her phone, violently] WHERE DID SHE GET ANIMATRONIC GINGERBREAD MEN?! [groans with her face turning red of rage] Okay, girls. Help Mommy tear all of this down and start over! I may not just lose to that woman again!

Bobby

[catches Lori trying to hide under his bed as he enters his room] Lori?

Lori

[hesitantly] Surprise! Happy Cat-parent-iversary! [chuckles awkwardly]

Bobby

But it hasn't been a month yet, unless we're celebrating by week. [notices something] Wait a minute. Bland cat salad, boring toys, itchy homemade PJ's? [gasps in outrage shock] You're not here for our early cat-parent-iversary. You're sneaking around my back, taking care of Pepurroni! How could you?!

[calling off-screen] Bobby, Lola called to say your $100 check bounced, so she's done doing your dirty gato work.

Lori

[also gasps in outrage shock] You were doing the same thing!

[also calling off-screen] Bobby paid her an hundy? Lori only paid me 80 lousy bucks.

Bobby

[long gasp in complete shock] You had Carl helping you too?!

Lori

Oh, quit gasping. Pepurroni needed one responsible parent.

Bobby

Yeah? Well, I had to make sure he wasn't bored to tears.

Lori

Bored?! I took him to cat yoga!

Bobby

Yeah, not exactly a kitty's favorite past time.

Lori

Oh, yeah?! Then why was he purring his head off?!

Bobby

Was he purring, or was he groaning?

It's so cool that your sister is letting you use her apartment to watch the game.

I didn't say that. I just said I was using her apartment.

So you're what, just sneaking in?

Normally I would totally respect Lori's privacy, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime pickleball game.

What the heck are you guys doing here?!

Leni

I heard what Lori said last night about the recessed lighting, and knew I had to record my totes important makeup tutorial here. But then, I heard someone coming!

And I heard Lori say how big the sink was and thought I could save some time and give all the pets a bath at once. [bathes Charles, Cliff, Walt, Geo and El Diablo at the same time] Then I heard someone coming!

Well, I'm here 'cause Lori said she had a zillion cable channels, and there's a super important game today.

Leni

I can't believe the three of us all had the same idea!

[falling from the ceiling and lands on the ground; weakly] Four of us. [gets up] I have the Little Miss Common Relax Pageant today, and I'm anything but! I heard Lori mention the incredible water pressure in her shower and thought it would help me relax. Then, I heard someone coming!

Okay. Now it all makes sense.

So what do we need do now?

Leni

Respect Lori's privacy and leave?

Oh, well, let's not be hasty. I mean, we all have a special reason to be here today, so we might as well stay. But just for today. And then we'll never disrespect Lori's privacy again.

Leni

Deal.

Agreed.

One and done.

Uh, hey, Lans, can you ask your dogs to be quiet?! Your cats and I are trying to watch the game!

Sorry! They're just responding to Lola's off-key shower singing.

[exits the shower; offended] I have the voice of an angel [resumes singing, until it's drowned out by the blown sound of Leni's hairdryer] Hmph. Besides, I'm only singing to drown out the sound of Leni's hairdryer!

[unplugs the hairdryer's cord from the outlet; sighs] This is clearly not going to work. There's only one thing to do.

Respect Lori's privacy and leave?

No. Make a schedule so we can all use the apartment by ourselves!

Of course!

Right!

Time for work, Lori? [realizes] I mean, I'm just guessing. [chuckles] I don't know your work schedule. Why would I? That would be weird. Okay, someone else talk now.

Lori

No work for me this week. The Burnt Bean had to close for "emergency bean-ovations", so I figured I'd just chill in my apartment this afternoon. [leaves]

No! I can't miss the puking… I mean, hot dog eating contest today!

You won't. I got you.

Lori

Hey, Mr. Grouse.

[angrily waving a handful of bills] What in tarnation is going on in here, Loud?! I just got the water bill, the electric bill, and the cable bill for this apartment, and they're higher than my blood pressure! And with your family next door, that's really high!

Lori

[looks over the bills; shocked] What?! How could they be so bad?! I'm literally never here! I don't know how this happened! I also… don't have the money to pay them.

[swipes the bills out of her hands] Fine. I'll pay them, but I gotta tell ya, I had no idea you were gonna be such an expensive tenant. [groans] You know what? I think it might be better if you find somewhere else to live.

Lori

[guilty] I totally understand, Mr. Grouse. I'll start looking for a new place right away. I'm really sorry.

You don't have anything to be sorry for, Lori.

Leni

Yeah, this is our fault. We're responsible for the high bills.

We've been using your apartment when you weren't here.

Lori

[snapping furiously with her face in red of rage] (YOU) WHAT?!

We knew we were respecting your privacy, but we didn't realize we were ruining your life.

To show you how sorry we are, we'll find a way to earn enough money to pay your bills.

Rita

I don't remember needing walnuts… or sardines. Lola. Lana.

We might add a few items if we was born on our birthdays earlier.

[giving Rita a handful of raffle tickets] Congratulations, you've earned 749 promotional raffle tickets.

Rita

So that's what this was about. [glares annoyingly at the twins] I'll deal with you two later. [back to the cashier] Can I return the nuts?

Please don't make me do that.

Rita

[enters the twins' room] How's the packing going? [notices Lana is wanting to bring her pets along; takes Bitey out of her bag] Lana, remember, the hotel isn't pet-friendly. You have to leave them home, sweetie.

Huh? [hesitantly] Oh, uh, right. I totally knew that and this isn't a surprise in any way. Just need to figure out who I can trust one of my precious, precious… [sniffles] babies while I'm gone.

Rita

And, when did we get a scorpion?

Oh, that's King Tut. I found him living in one of Dad's shoes.

Thanks for going on a practice walk, Leni. This is one of the hardest parts. All my pets have walked at the same time, or they get jealous and they have to pee on the carpet.

Leni

Okay, got it. I didn't see you walking a frog or a scorpion.

How else are they gonna get in their own cardio? The only tricky part is if anyone sees… [suddenly hears the jingle of an ice cream truck] AN ICE CREAM TRUCK! [the truck drives past and the pets run after it, dragging Leni along] Come back! Heel!

Rita

Girls, since they have so many lifeguards here to watch you, I hope it's okay if I hit the spa.

Of course. You do you. [shoves her out of the room] Bye! Pool time! [rips off her dress, revealing her swimsuit, and leaves]

I'll be right behind you! I just gotta find my own goggles. [opens a suitcase, revealing her pets all crammed in] You guys okay? Sorry it took very long. [takes them out of the suitcase and hides them in a desk drawer] These are your own new digs for a while. I'll be back in a bit to check on you. No fighting. [leaves the room]

[finishes brushing Geo's teeth] Bitey, we need to brush. Nobody likes a rat with bad breath.