Kate O'Brien quotes from The Drew Carey Show

Kate

Kiss me.

Drew

What?!

Kate

Kiss!

Drew

Hey, you don't know what you're saying. You're drunk. And you've been throwing up.

Kate

Besides, I can have any man in this bar! Am I right? [Climbs on table]

Drew

Hey, she's been drinking! And I know there's not a man in this bar who'd take advantage of a woman who's been drinking.

Oswald

[whispering] I have a gun.

Drew

I have a gun!

Drew

You were drunk? Oh no. What am I going to do with this ring? And I already broke up with Lisa. I told my mother. She was so happy. [Pretends to cry] How could you do this to me? I suppose the sex didn't mean anything to you either!

Kate

Drew?

Kate

You had so much to drink you couldn't even get your eyelids up.

Kate

Drew, please tell me this isn't Mrs. Louder's dog!

Kate

What did you do? He was a prize breeding dog! They're supposed to look like that!

Lewis

Well, it doesn't matter. I mean, fur grows back, right?

Drew

Unfortunately, we had something done to him that...doesn't grow back. (Kate understands, and she kneels down next to Lucky.)

Drew

Come on, guys. I gotta leave in 15 minutes, I still haven't found anything nice to say about Mr. Louder.

Lewis

Oh, I got something. It says here he invented the word "sweatshop."

Drew

[incredulously] Really? Mr. Louder was a crusader for workers' rights.

Lewis

No, not exactly. He's quoted as saying, "I want to see my workers sweat so much in my shops, I can call them sweatshops, or maybe stink boxes. Oh hell, I don't care. I hate workers. Hey, where's my hat? I think I'm gonna be sick." Oh, he was a drinker, too.

Drew

Kate, you got anything about him?

Kate

Well, kind of. Did you know he invented the cubicle?

Drew

No way!

Kate

Yeah. Originally, it was a cage, but he experimented and found out you only need three walls and people are trapped in their minds.

Drew

Oh, my God, I can just walk out!

Oswald

I'll get him out of this.

Kate

How?

Oswald

The same way I got him out of the Presidential Physical Fitness test. (elbows a nearby fire alarm. Everyone files out as the alarm blares)