Kate O'Brien quotes from The Drew Carey Show

Kate

You put MIMI in Cosmetics?! Oh, great. Why don't we just put Ike Turner in the complaints department?

Kate

Don't let him play red!

Kate

You're right. You know, I should call Drew right now and see if he wants to start a relationship. Because it's the end of the world, and my mother's been chugging COUGH SYRUP again!

Kate

[after her mother gives her a sweater] Ooh, I hope this is the one that lands me a man!

Kate

Sorry. Just killing Mom before time gets here.

Drew

What if I have to fire you? And I'm sure I'm gonna have to.

Kate

Look, you don't have to fire me. You can kill me, how's that?

Drew

Well, that might solve some problems, but, you know, it may create others.

Kate

Did you and Pam have a fight?

Lewis

No, we were just in the neighborhood and...she kicked me out of the car and drove away.

Drew

Did you try to get her to wear that thing again?

Lewis

Yeah.

Kate

[referring to the 'thing' from the above quote] I TOLD you women don't think those things are sexy!

Lewis

Hey, if it's not sexy, how come I had to order it from Mexico?

Kate

How did it go?

Drew

We had really great seats. You could almost see the Angel of Death right behind Keith Richards.

Kate

Don't worry about Drew, he's just a big teddy bear! [Rubs his stomach.]

Drew

Kate, don't rub my stomach. How'd you like it if you were in a business meeting and I went over and honked your breasts?

Kate

[giving Drew a reason to ask out Janet] You're not seeing anybody.

Drew

Please, I'm already using that excuse for not exercising.

Kate

[about Earl] So he is crazy?

Oswald

Hey, I don't want to be the first to call anybody crazy.

Kate

...I already did.

Oswald

Then I concur. He's wicky in the wacky woo.

Drew

How could I miss it? We gave him a psychological profile. He passed with flying colors. Look. Under the question, "Have you ever experienced seizures, blackouts, or been institutionalized?" Says 'Never'

Kate

It doesn't say 'Never'; it says 'Over' as in 'turn over'.

Drew

No, it doesn't. [turns paper over] OH MY GOD!

Lewis

What's it say?

Drew

Well, it says in so many words, technically speaking, that he's wicky in the wacky woo.

Kate

We're not going to fight for a job.

Lewis

What if we provide a cage?

Kate

I actually learned something about myself; I don't have to resort to anger.

Drew

You tried to kill that lady's dog and cat.

Kate

Oh, you heard that?

Kate

I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? Men are slime.

Oswald

Amen to that, sister!