Holt Richter quotes from The Cleveland Show

Holt

I'm riding through them dirt roads and let me show you how I work them dirt hoes.

Holt

All hot girls are crazy...but not all crazy girls are hot.

Holt

Kenny West. Caught ya at the county fair. Yeah, I listen to rap. Gotta De La Soul CD in my car. Do a little beatboxing. You probably don't wanna hear it. Unless you do. You probably do. [starts beatboxing terribly] Boop-boop-boopa-doo-boop! Boop! Boop-bitty-boopydoop-boop!

I'm really not glad I heard that.

Oh, Kenny. You're TRBL!

No, you're TRBL!

No, you're TRBL!

We're both TRBL!

Thanks for coming to get drunk for charity, guys.

Uh, whatever Fox is paying us. [looks around] Wow, Cleveland. I figured it was gonna be all black guys, but this is great.

Missed ya.

I came as soon as I heard. Then I drove straight down. Giggety-giggety.

Comedy-comedy. [to Joe] But seriously, Joe. [slowly] Thank you for coming here to help with our charity function for the "disabled".

You do know I hear perfectly well. Don't ya, Cleveland?

I know you're trying. [turns Joe's wheelchair around] Brave, brave Joe. [pushes him as he screams]

Tim

What do you think of Cleveland's old friends?

Holt

Gay.

Lester

Damn right gay.

Tim

Yeah, you guys are so gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay! So gay! [they laugh]

Really uh, progressive-thinking friends you got there, Cleveland.

Yeah, I guess they like to throw around negatively inflective labels. [Joe comes back]

You guys are the gays!

No, Joe.

Joe.

Donna

I'll teach him to wash my dishes in my own house. [realizes] Wait... what the fuck am I doin'?

Lester

Dang, missed again. Huh, who am I kidding? I can't hurt a healthy snack.

Guys, I'm not sure about the hunting trip. Haven't found the right moment to run it by Donna yet. Not like I need a permission slip or anything.

Holt

Got mine. Signed by my mom.

If I even mention it, she'll flip out. Something's got her all insane in the fem brain. I don't know what to do.

Okay!

Guys, Donna and I are making a baby.

Holt

No you're not.

What?

Holt

You got a vasectomy.

No I didn't!

Lester

Yeah you did, six months ago. We all got drunk and played Truth or Dare – Holt got a tramp stamp, you got a vasectomy, and Tim tried meth.

Tim

One time, one time. [all teeth fall onto table] Okay, two.

A vasectomy?! So that's why my boys hurt for three weeks. I thought a spider had laid eggs in there.

Wow, I could stay here forever!

Holt

Yeah, that's kind of the idea.