Cleveland Jr quotes from The Cleveland Show

[as the group throws a joke at Cleveland Jr. as part of a comedy roast, to try and get him to cry] That's cruel without even knowing the reference.

I may be a virgin, [angrily pulls on Federline's gold necklace] but I'll kick your ass if you do that again!

I'm going to get even with that candy-ass son of a motherfucking bitch.

MOO.

To Infinity and Beyond!

[shows a PowerPoint presentation during the scout tour meeting] Just look at that mass expand of virgin territory. The dense bushy thicket. And if you look close enough, you can see... my penis and testicles! [sees the picture Rallo took of him coming out of the shower] MY PENIS & TESTICLES!!??

Well, I'm off to sing about Jesus and crap.

Rallo

Well aren't we the Black Brady Bunch?

Except I'm not a gay architect, and my wife's not sleeping with my son!

Not yet!

What are you doing up there?

Larry the Leopard told me to climb the bookcase.

Fourteen. You're fourteen! Now, get down here. I got something I want you to have.

Wow, number 9? I thought when you left, they retired it for good.

I'm Brett Favre-ing it, except I'm not being a public jagoff about it.

I've never been friends with a girl before. Is it true you guys clap your breasts together, like a seal?

No!

Thanks a lot, Wikipedia.

Don't worry, Daddy. I'm gonna feed you, and wash you and change you, just like you did when I was a baby.

Thank you, Junior. [whispers] Don't let him do any of those things to me, Donna!

Donna

Junior, can you give us some alone time?

Okay. I'll go down to pediatrics and look at the chicken people.

[to Chanel] Sorry he's so cranky. He was up til 7:15 last night.

Rallo

Oh, thanks! Anybody else wanna take a shot?

Donna

Rallo, are you bothering the big kids? Come here, I need to give you your diarrhea medicine.

Rallo

[to Cleveland Jr.] You are in for a world of hurt, buffalo butt!

Donna

What did you call me?

Rallo

No, not you, mo-[Donna grabs his ear] Aaaarrggh!

When we get to North Carolina, I'm going to Tear. You. Two. Up.

Tear us up? I just wanted to smooch.

Yeah. And I just wanted to take you to the soda fountain for a phosphate.

Ohh, is that like a Jewish sex thing? Because I heard you guys are really kinky.

Not true. At all.

Get ready, boys. Because when I'm done with you. You will both. See. God.

Is he fucking kidding with this?

Donna

[whispers] Don't say "fuck" in church.

Count to five before you follow me.

[exasperated] Yeah, I know the drill. [after Roberta leaves] Bitch.

Why do I listen to you!?