Bobby[as Lori enters his apartment] Hey, babe!
I am so sorry for being late. [hugs him] You wouldn't believe what happened to me. [checks out the apartment; amazed] Wow! Your place looks great! Where's your dad?
Bobby
Relax, babe. He's also running late.
Oh, perfect. I'll go freshen up.
[As Lori washes off her face in the bathroom…]
Bobby
[off-screen] Hey, Dad, you made it!
Ah! It's him. He's here. [opens the door to see Arturo…only to realize in horror he's the same guy she pushed into the puddle earlier]
[gasps in horror and closes the door] That's Arturo?!
You won't believe what happened to me! I was attacked by the rudest blonde girl!
I shoved Bobby's dad into a puddle!
Bobby
[knocking on the bathroom door from outside] Babe, are you almost done? My dad's here!
You! You're that girl who pushed me a puddle yesterday! [grumbles as Lori gets him back up on his feet]
Bobby
Babe, is that true? Why did you push my dad into a puddle…twice?!
"Babe?" Bobby, this puddle pusher is your girlfriend?
Yes! Your memory is back, though I don't love the nickname.
Bobby
Have we gotten to later yet? 'Cause I really need to know what's going on.
Let's go inside, and I'll tell you everything over anchovy pizza.
[enters the apartment, excited, along with Bobby, looking upset] OMG, guys, look! Bobby and I got our BAT scores in the mail!
Ooh, what's a BAT test? [gasps] You get to sleep upside down and eat crickets?!
No, Carl. BAT stands for "Big Academic Test." It's to get into college, and I crushed it! Fashion design school, here I come!
Oh, I'm so proud of you, mija. Go pursue your dreams! But don't leave me BACK! [sobs]
Is something wrong, Bobby?
Bobby
I didn't get a good BAT score.
[gasps] Who wouldn't want to give mi Bobbito a good score? [takes of her shoe and goes to the door] I'll just give those testing people a piece of my mind!
Bobby
[runs up to the door, blocking her way] I don't think that'll help, Abuela. [groans] I really wanted to do well so I could go to business school and open up a whole chain of mercados. I don't know what happened. I aced all my practice tests, but as soon as I sat down, my palms got sweaty and I forgot everything! Like, even where I parked, [pulls out the van keys from his pocket] I had to walk home!
Wait, you left the mercado van there?! I'm gonna get a ticket! [grabs the keys and leaves]
Huh, sounds like a classic case of test-taking anxiety. My students get it all the time. Never fear, Bobby. There are many scientific ways to beat it! I'll help you.
Bobby
Deal!
[gets his hand covered in sweat] Eh, you weren't kidding about your sweaty palms. [chuckles]
[takes out her phone] One guess who it is. [answers the call]
Bobby
Hey! I told you to stay away from those Chewy Chewies! There better be 97 when I get back!
Bobby
And you have a code purple! Maybelle is eating grapes!
How do you know all of that?
Bobby
Uh... Mercado instinct! Hey, did you change my music? Bobby's Mercado Mix Number 7 was carefully selected to stimulate more shopping.
[looks at a security camera in the piñata's eye] Mercado instinct, huh? More like you're spying on us with the security camera!
Bobby
Wait! I'm not spying! What... What are you doing?! [Carl covers the camera with gum, blacking it out, as the phone hangs up] They cut me off! [worriedly freaking out] What am I gonna do?
Bobby
That's right! [removes the gum off the camera] I don't appreciate being cut off! [shakes the gum off his hand] Yuck! From communication!
Well, we didn't appreciate you spying on us. We've all helped out here and know what to do. Look around! Nothing went wrong.
Bobby
How can you say that?! The mangos smell like trout! The milk is facing the wrong way! This can is off by a centimeter!
You're being so picky! That stuff doesn't matter!
Bobby
It matters to me! I don't need a bunch of kids coming in here and changing everything! You'll understand when you're older.
Oh, ho, ho! I think we understand now! You're just like a Mercado run in a very specific way! [takes her apron off and gives it to her brother] So, run it yourself! [walks out]
Bobby
Lori! Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for tonight to turn out like this.
I can't believe you drove me all the way to the city just so you could work on our anniversary!
Bobby
That wasn't the plan. It was supposed to be a really special night. I left Ronnie Anne, Carl, and CJ in charge of the mercado, but they were messing things up! They changed the music to K-pop, and they out the mangoes by the fish.
That's it?! So they didn't upset any customers, burned the place down?
Bobby
No, but--
Bobby, everyone in your family cares about the mercado. No one would let anything truly bad happen to it.
Bobby
Right, but--
Maybe, they have their own way of doing things, and you just need to trust them.
Bobby
You're right. I'm sorry. I guess I do have a hard time giving up control of the mercado.
It's okay. You're just really passionate about what you do. And I love that about you. Also, you look cute in your pizza tux.
Bobby
Thanks, babe.
Bobby
[dismayed; groans] Beaten by a bird. Can it get more embarrassing?
[poops on Bobby’s head; squawks] Clean up at the register!
Bobby
[fuels up furiously as his face turns red] You know what, Sergio?! I've had it! I wish you would just fly away and never…come…back!
[squawks in horrified shock; offended] Fine! Peace out! [flies out and away of the mercado]
Bobby
[sweeps the bird poop off his head and looks at Sergio's photo] What are you looking at? [annoyingly flips the photo down]
[lifts up the couch] ¿Sergio, done estas! [sets the couch down] Where did he go?! It’s not like him to just disappear like… [breaks down in tears] THIIIIIIIII-IS!!!
[Rosa breaks down in tears. Bobby then finally realizes something; flash to earlier, in the mercado...]
Bobby
I wish you could just fly away... [In slow motion] ...and NEVER! COME! BACK!!!
[Sergio gasps slowly; end flashback. Ronnie Anne is comforting her Abuela.]
Roberto, you were the last one to see him. Did you see where he went?
[Ronnie Anne and Rosa turn to him, expecting answers; knowing he's the one who made Sergio run away, Bobby puts on a show.]
Bobby
Uh... [eyes dart to and from] No! It's not like I'd told him to leave and never come back. [nervous laugh] "But I'll go look for him.
[He runs off, but bumps into something and runs out the door, as Hector looks suspicious. Then, the ceiling breaks; Carl pops out the hole.]
Well, Sergio's not here either.
[gasps as she got a text from Alisa] Shut up! Alisa just liked my vlog!
Bobby
[in unison] Did you say Alisa?!
Quine? Is that a friend of yours?
No, no, Abuela. She's a famous musician and a judge on that singing show, "The Song." [gasps as she gets more texts from Alisa] It's her again! She's says she's on tour, here in Great Lakes City… [gasps] and she's inviting me to do her makeup and a live interview before the show! [screams in excitement]
We should all buy tickets and go. To support you.
Uh, yeah. I so with you guys could come, but the show's been sold out for months. Bummer.
[Her laptop beeps, showing Alisa sent the family some free tickets]
Whoa! Alisa just sent you 10 free tickets!
Ever since we moved here, you spend all your time at the mercado or talking to Lori. You should find a BFF. My life here got way better once I met Sid.
O, M, G! (Runs up and hugs Ronnie Anne) I came down for sugar, but got something much sweeter!
You know what? Rocko's training can wait, Sid. I have to help Bobby a new friend today.
Bobby
Really?
Yup, we're gonna find you, your Sid.
Ooh! Good luck! I can't wait to meet the other me!
This is the only hiding place left!
Bobby
But I don't like the spin cycle.
[Flies in] Scully's done, he's headed home.
[Back in the Changs' apartment, the kids return with the animals.]
I can't believe our plan worked.
Of course it did, we kicked butt.
[Notices something about his cage.] Why is this cage empty?
Oh, that's Cam's cage, he's probably just camouflaging himself.
[Feels inside the cage] Nope, he's gone.
Bobby
So you're telling me that a snake with the power to be invisible is loose in the building?! [Faints]
[Ronnie Anne walks out of her room, wearing a white floral dress, white socks, and Mary Janes]
[in her folklorico dress walks to her with CJ, wearing a white shirt and shorts, red neckerchief, and sandals] Ronnie Anne, where are my clothes?! Is this one of your practical jokes?!
No, I thought it was laundry day. But I did put a whoopee cushion on Abuelo's chair.
[sits down offscreen] Oop, ah, excuse me!
[walks up, wearing white floral underwear] Why are my chonies so fancy?
Bobby
[walks up, wearing a sombrero, brown leather jacket, vest and pants, green tie, and white pointy boots] I don't think these are my pants but I like 'em! And there are little toys on my shoes! [plays with the spurs on his boots] Wee!
The Casagrandes · 329 quotes
