Beverly quotes from The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon

[about Leonard] My theory is that his lack of focus stems from an overdeveloped sex drive.

Oh, I don't know where he would have gotten that. Aside from a pro forma consummation of our marriage, his father and I only had intercourse for the purposes of reproduction.

Sheldon

That seems a fairly efficient arrangement.

Beverly

Yes, we think so. We've both done papers on it. Mine from a neuroscientific point of view and his from an anthropological. Mine, of course, was the only one worth reading.

Sheldon

Of course. I would very much like to read about your sex life.

Beverly

Well, it's all online, or you can order it from the Princeton University press.

Leonard

Here is your tea, mother. So, what are you guys talking about?

Sheldon

The frequency with which your parents had intercourse.

Leonard

Swell. If you are lucky maybe she'll show you the PowerPoint presentation.

Beverly

I'm sorry, it's on my other laptop.

Sheldon

Awwww…

Leonard

[attempting to get back at Howard and Raj, who were asking Beverly to talk about Leonard's more successful siblings] Howard lives with his mother, and Raj can't speak to women unless he's drunk. Go!

Beverly

Oh, that's fascinating. Selective mutism is quite rare. On the other hand, an adult Jewish male living with his mother is so common, it borders on sociological cliché.

Howard

It's just temporary. I pay rent.

Leonard

He lives in the same room where his bassinet was.

Beverly

You know, both selective mutism and an inability to separate from one's mother can stem from a pathological fear of women. It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.

Howard

Say what?

Beverly

How dare you invite your father without consulting me.

Leonard

Sorry but I don't think I need your permission to have my father at my wedding.

Beverly

You do understand that our marriage ended because he had an affair.

Leonard

I know and there is no excuse for that.

Beverly

He claimed I was cold, emasculating, and hadn't shown him any physical affection for years.

Leonard

[To himself] I was wrong, there are three excuses for that.