Sheldon, Beverly Hofstadter and others in “The Maternal Capacitance”

[about Leonard] My theory is that his lack of focus stems from an overdeveloped sex drive.

Oh, I don't know where he would have gotten that. Aside from a pro forma consummation of our marriage, his father and I only had intercourse for the purposes of reproduction.

That seems a fairly efficient arrangement.

Yes, we think so. We've both done papers on it. Mine from a neuroscientific point of view and his from an anthropological. Mine, of course, was the only one worth reading.

Of course. I would very much like to read about your sex life.

Well, it's all online, or you can order it from the Princeton University press.

Here is your tea, mother. So, what are you guys talking about?

The frequency with which your parents had intercourse.

Swell. If you are lucky maybe she'll show you the PowerPoint presentation.

I'm sorry, it's on my other laptop.

Awwww…